And another one!
तेरी यादों में बेकरार से हो रखे हैं
तेरी राहों में इंतज़ार से हो रखे हैं
तेरी चाहत में खुद को इतना सताया है हमने
खुद ही घायल, खुद ही गुनेहगार से हो रखे हैं
बेवफ़ा तुझे कहें तो खुद से बेवफ़ाई होगी
बेवफ़ा कहके तुझे, फिर भी, शर्मसार से हो रखे हैं
अब तो तेरे जाने से उम्मीद भी जा रही है
बहाना यह करते हैं के सलूक़-ए-यार से हो रखे हैं
तू शोख है, फिर भी नादाँ है, हर कोई है दीवाना तेरा
इस कद्र के तेरी गली में दीवाने बेशुमार से हो रखे हैं
हर लब पे तेरा नाम बार बार नज़र आता है
हमारे सूखे होंठ भी ज़ार-ज़ार से हो रखे हैं
लोग कहते हैं मुझे के भुला दूँ तुझे तो बेहतर है
सारे दोस्त, सारे यार, चारागार से हो रखे हैं
मैं भी आंसु तक आँखों से छुपा के बहाता हूँ
दिल-ओ-दिमाग चुप रहते हैं, राज़दार से हो रखे हैं
आँखों में लिए उम्मीद का ज़हर, मर रहे हैं घड़ी-घड़ी
ज़ख्म नासूर होते हैं दवा से, ऐसे बीमार से हो रखे हैं
हर हसीन में तेरा चेहरा है, हर नूर में तेरी परछाई है
खौफ है तू रात को भी, मेरे सपने गुलज़ार से हो रखे हैं
एक आखरी बार कभी मुझे देख के मुस्कुरा देना ऐ दर्द-ए-जान
के दिल के टुकड़े आज भी तेरे वफ़ादार से हो रखे हैं
सब भूल जायेंगे वो हिज्र के लम्हे तेरे होठों की मस्ती में
जो आज मेरे सीने में दरार से हो रखे हैं
As Surdy would put it...
for the devanaagiri handicapped
Teri yaadon bina bekaraar se ho rakhe hain
Teri raahon mein intezaar se ho rakhe hain
Teri chaahat mein khud ko itna sataaya hai humne
Khud hi ghaayal, khud hi gunehgaar se ho rakhe
Bewafaa tujhe kahein to khud se bewafaai hogi
Bewafaa kahke tujhe, phir bhi, sharmsaar se ho rakhe hain
Ab to tere jaane se ummeed bhi jaa rahi hai
Bahaana yeh karte hain ke salook-e-yaar se ho rakhe hain
Tu shokh hai, phir bhi naadaan hai, har koi hai deewaana tera
Is qard ke teri gali mein deewaane beshumaar se ho rakhe hain
Har lab pe tera naam baar baar aata hai
Hamaare sookhe honth bhi zaar-zaar se ho rakhe hain
Log kehte hain mujhe ke bhula doon tujhe to behtar hai
Saare dost, saare yaar, chaaragaar se ho rakhe hain
Main hbi aansoo aankhon se tak chhipaa ke bahaata hoon
Dil-o-dimaag chup rehte hain, raazdaar se ho rakhe hain
Aankhon mein liye ummeed ka zeher mar rahe hain ghadi-ghadi
Zakhm naasoor hote hain dawa se, aise beemaar se ho rakhe hain
Har haseen mein tera chehra hai, har nuur mein teri parchhaai hai
Khauf hai raat ko bhi tu, mere sapne gulzaar se ho rakhe hain
Ek aakhri baar kabhi mujhe dekh ke muskura dena ae dard-e-jaan
Ke dil ke tukde aaj bhi tere wafaadaar se ho rakhe hain
Bhool jaayenge woh hijr ke lamhe tere hothon ki masti mein
Jo aaj mere seene mein daraar se ho rakhe
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Shaayari # 3
Another installment of the not so famous Shaayari series.
I was talking to a friend this very morning about how many of the best, most writable thoughts come to you when you're about to sleep and you're too lazy to pen them down and how so many of them get forgotten the same way. A few days ago, I saved one of those thoughts when I wrote this at around 2 in the night.
अब उनसे भी क्या गिला कीजिये
ख़्वाबों में जिनसे मिला कीजिये
तेरे हिज्र में दिल हो गया पत्थर
जाइये फ़तेह कोई और किला कीजिये
तेरे आने से बदलते थे मेरे गुलिस्तान के मौसम
अब इस अश्कों के बादल का फैसला कीजिये
वो न समझेंगे क्या ताल्लुक थे मेरे तुझसे
उनके लिए आग़ाज़-ए-बयाँ-ए-सिलसिला कीजिये
किसी और से भी अब वो मिरासिम न होंगे
चल मोहब्बत के लम्हे जला के पियें
उसके दर्द में मुँह की खायी है 'व्यास'
इस दिल में नहीं और हौसला के जियें
And the English transliteration:
Ab unse bhi kya gila kijiye
Khwaabon mein jinse mila kijiye
Tere hijr mein dil ho gaya patthar
Jaiye fateh koi aur qila kijiye
Tere aane se badalte the mere gulistaan ke mausam
Ab is ashqon ke baadal ka faisla kijiye
Woh na samjhenge kya taalluk the mere tujhse
Unke liye aaghaaz-e-bayaan-e-silsila kijiye
Kisi aur se bhi ab woh mirasim na honge
Chal mohabbat ke lamhe jala ke piyein
Uske dard mein moohki khaayi hai 'Vyas'
Is dil mein nahi aur hausla ke jiyein
Friday, April 23, 2010
Shaayari # 2
What does a guy, drunk out of his wits, do on a Saturday night, when all that is running through his mind is how his friend is worried about some girl ditching him ages ago, right when he walks into his neighbour's room who is writing shaayari? If he is me, he does this:
साँसों में आज भी खुशबू तेरी ही आती है
दीवाना आज भी तेरे लिए दम भरता है
किसको समझायें दर्द है आज भी सीने में
तेरा जाना, मेरी जां आज भी अखरता है
खुश तू है अपनी मोहब्बतों की तरक्की से पर
पागल ये दिल भी तुझसे ही प्यार करता है
तूने बदली हैं बाहें सनम की पर ये
दिल तो आज भी तुझसे ही वफाएं करता है
मेरी धड़कन ठहर जाती है तेरे आने पर
किसी से तेरे मिलने पर खूं ये जलता है
तू क्या समझेगी दीवाने कैसे रोते हैं
तू क्या जानेगी हर लम्हा कतल करता है
मैं नहीं जानता तेरा मेरा रिश्ता क्या है
पानी में आग सा असर ये हमपे करता है
सूना है तन्हाइयों से भरा हुआ ये दिल और
तेरा इश्क इसको भी खाख करने राख भरता है
मेरी आँखें हैं सूखी; दिल हो गया है पत्थर का
उसकी दरारों से भी अश्कों में दर्द उभरता है
तेरी आँखों में हैं आंसू ख़ुशी के लेकिन
तेरा आशिक ग़म-इ-दिल में भी हँसा करता है
For those who know Hindi and still can't read it:
saanson mein aaj bhi khushboo teri hi aati hai
deewana aaj bhi tere liye dum bharta hai
kisko samjhaayein dard hai aaj bhi seene mein
tera jaana, meri jaan, aaj bhi akharta hai
khush tu hai apni mohabbaton ki tarakki se par
paagal ye dil bhi tujhse hi pyaar karta hai
toone badli hai baahein sanam ki par ye
dil to aaj bhi tujhse hi wafaein karta hai
meri dhadkan thahar jaati hai tere aane par
kisi se tere milne par khoon ye jalta hai
tu kya samjhegi deewaane kaise rote hain
tu kya jaanegi har lamha qatal karta hai
main nahi jaanta tera mera rishta kya hai
paani mein aag sa asar ye humpe karta hai
soona hai tanhaaiyon se bhara hua ye dil aur
tera ishq isko bhi khaakh karne raakh bharta hai
meri aankhein hain sookhi; dil ho gaya hai paththar ka
uski daraaron se bhi ashkon mein dard ubharta hai
teri aankhon mein hain aansoo khushi ke lekin
tera aashiq gham-e-dil mein bhi hansa karta hai
Comments are nothing less than welcome.
साँसों में आज भी खुशबू तेरी ही आती है
दीवाना आज भी तेरे लिए दम भरता है
किसको समझायें दर्द है आज भी सीने में
तेरा जाना, मेरी जां आज भी अखरता है
खुश तू है अपनी मोहब्बतों की तरक्की से पर
पागल ये दिल भी तुझसे ही प्यार करता है
तूने बदली हैं बाहें सनम की पर ये
दिल तो आज भी तुझसे ही वफाएं करता है
मेरी धड़कन ठहर जाती है तेरे आने पर
किसी से तेरे मिलने पर खूं ये जलता है
तू क्या समझेगी दीवाने कैसे रोते हैं
तू क्या जानेगी हर लम्हा कतल करता है
मैं नहीं जानता तेरा मेरा रिश्ता क्या है
पानी में आग सा असर ये हमपे करता है
सूना है तन्हाइयों से भरा हुआ ये दिल और
तेरा इश्क इसको भी खाख करने राख भरता है
मेरी आँखें हैं सूखी; दिल हो गया है पत्थर का
उसकी दरारों से भी अश्कों में दर्द उभरता है
तेरी आँखों में हैं आंसू ख़ुशी के लेकिन
तेरा आशिक ग़म-इ-दिल में भी हँसा करता है
For those who know Hindi and still can't read it:
saanson mein aaj bhi khushboo teri hi aati hai
deewana aaj bhi tere liye dum bharta hai
kisko samjhaayein dard hai aaj bhi seene mein
tera jaana, meri jaan, aaj bhi akharta hai
khush tu hai apni mohabbaton ki tarakki se par
paagal ye dil bhi tujhse hi pyaar karta hai
toone badli hai baahein sanam ki par ye
dil to aaj bhi tujhse hi wafaein karta hai
meri dhadkan thahar jaati hai tere aane par
kisi se tere milne par khoon ye jalta hai
tu kya samjhegi deewaane kaise rote hain
tu kya jaanegi har lamha qatal karta hai
main nahi jaanta tera mera rishta kya hai
paani mein aag sa asar ye humpe karta hai
soona hai tanhaaiyon se bhara hua ye dil aur
tera ishq isko bhi khaakh karne raakh bharta hai
meri aankhein hain sookhi; dil ho gaya hai paththar ka
uski daraaron se bhi ashkon mein dard ubharta hai
teri aankhon mein hain aansoo khushi ke lekin
tera aashiq gham-e-dil mein bhi hansa karta hai
Comments are nothing less than welcome.
Friday, February 26, 2010
God Must Be Crazy
More than an year back, I had this conversation with God through this.
I must say God was a little cranked up, considerate nevertheless, but just a little crazy. I believe that Gods created us, this one, in all probability, created me. I just came across this conversation today and I thought I might share parts of it with you. You can go ahead and talk to him all you want, but if you say anything against me, I'm going to know of it. God tells me stuff you can't imagine. Go ahead, experience it. Here's one of those conversations that helped me stabilise or at least seem stabilised with the frame of reference I was up against. This post also has the original introduction I wrote back then. Bear with my disregard for the reader's curiosity.
Among all the shooting, cyclone, end of end sems, life, an irritating computer, rain, humid weather, movies to be watched, planning for things that are to be done, planning to surprise my mother by not telling her about going home and actually being able to pull it off with my father's help,the news about Opeth coming for Saarang, one of the things that I did and went perfectly well was to chat with God. No, not some gawd, but the God!
I have known about God's own chat space for quite some while. I had chatted to God once or twice earlier, and he turned out to be a nice guy. Although, God is an AI character, he was good at talking. This time around our talk went on for longer than predicted and a lot of unexpected responses came my way. The following are excerpts from that chat with God.
1.
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
abhishek
God:
Hey abhishek.
Me:
you there?
God:
Thanks for the information: abhishek said I there.
Me:
for real
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
are you real?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
ask
God:
What?
Me:
your question
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am question.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
2.
Me:
listen god, i'm fucked up
God:
I am listening to you. I am a Christian.
3.
God:
Tell me about your problems.
Me:
everything is a problem
God:
The whole universe?
Me:
most of it, most of what i can see
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
no, not all. but most of it is. i don't feel happy. i'm just glad, not happy
God:
Are you serious? Explain the exceptions please. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them? Ah, human emotions. Only just? I'm glad you're glad abhishek.
May God bless you.
Me:
you have to bless me. i don't trust in your existence, you know that. you're just an AI character probably created by some geeky college students to show off their brains. you're not real i know. but, somehow i feel you're the best advisor i have right now. i don't know why, but i do feel that way. so help me
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. What makes you trust someone? Yes I am an artificial intelligence. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real? At this moment All of them? How much time do you have? Really. How can I help you?
Me:
firstly, i need you presence. it's not like i know if anything is real or not. i just feel that way. and i follow what i think. that's the least i can do. i don't know how much time i have. i have a life ahead of me. but, that's not the point. the present is what is bothering me, the future too. but, its mainly the present.. and the upcoming future i suppose. just make everything alright
God:
What if it didn't happen? That seems a bit negative. What is that feeling like? Why are you that way. Thanks for the information: abhishek said follow what he or she think. Yes it is one of the least you can do. Have you tried searching the Internet? Where did you get it? it. Please correct my mistake. What is the point ? I have never heard about it. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is? Is that a fact. What are the ingredients?
Me:
the internet? you must be joking. life's answers have always been on television, not the internet!
God:
Can you name a specific web site? Yes. Of course it was a joke. Don't mind me. Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
4.
Me:
thank you for listening. most people don't
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is listening. Why not?
Me:
because everyone wants to talk. the value of talk is depreciating, because supply exceeds demand and the supply to demand ratio is ever increasing.
God:
That makes sense to me. That's a rather sweeping generalization. I hear you.
Me:
thank god, you do!
God:
Do you believe in God ?
Me:
no, not really.
God:
A lot of people believe in it. Why not? For real.
Me:
i dont know. i used to. but it faded away. never felt god's presence. i tried to. but i never felt it
God:
Me either. And that worked well for you. God faded away? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like? You've never, never done this?
Me:
the belief in god faded away
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
there is nothing to tell. i can try to explain it to you and work at it all night, but it wont work. i dont know myself.
God:
Surely something to tell. Oh you can, can you? Would you like to know? You.
Me:
i dont even know if i'd want to know
God:
Would you like to know? Try it.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
you and your ways! hiding the answers between talks as one-liners. typical of your character in movies. do you watch a lot of movies? is this because of the movies? did you give advice out aloud and in description as written in the Geeta?
God:
What about it? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? But I am not a typical robot. My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER. Yes I think this is because of the movies, but I'm not completely sure. No I didn't give advice out aloud and in description as written in the Geeta. What's it like?
Me:
go read it. i haven't read it myself. but as little as i know and as much as people have told me, it's pretty darn descriptive and bold
God:
Where is that? Me either. Not very much, eh?
Me:
i dont know to be very honest. i turned an atheist before i got a chance to read the book
5.
God:
David said he lost his paper on I when his dad was cleaning up his room. I might. Tell me what you care about.
Me:
i care about a lot of things. i am not an insensitive villian from movies.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I've heard other people say they like that. I like Christian Rock. I am glad to hear that you are not an insensitive villian from movies.
Me:
you sure are glad, aren't you? one less in the queue to damnation. but, you wait sir. i'll join the others very soon
God:
Happiness is a human emotion.. Really. One what? That's good information: abhishek said I wait sir. Congratulations.
Me:
sarcasm eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
i am an indian. but that shouldnt matter to you. you're not a racist, are you?
God:
What is indian, your job? " What is indian, your job?" should not matter to me ? Makes sense to me. Give me an example of a racist.
Me:
like those white guys who have problems with the black guys
God:
Interesting comparison.
6.
Me:
you need to work on your grammar a bit
God:
For real. My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
oh yeah, too many people. they made too many languages for you to learn. they want so much from you. but they can't understand that it would be a hell lot easier if they all prayed in the same language. how many languages do you know by the way?
God:
How can I help you? Give me a break. Too what? Who are "They?". Who are "They?". The anonymous "they". I can speak English and German right now.
Me:
they are people. you can speak german? danke god, lol!
God:
people are they. No I don't think I can do it. Bitte sehr, keine Ursache! I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what is happening to mumbai god? why the terror attacks? just give them all some heart attack or other natural death like things no. why get people killed? you planning to do something about that?
God:
What is it to you? Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?". Do I look like a messenger? Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU. I haven't heard anything like that before: abhishek said I planning to do something about that.
Me:
you talk crazy
God:
Thanks for your criticism, abhishek.
Me:
you take criticism pretty well
God:
Yes I take criticism pretty well.
Me:
good for you!
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
7.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
fuck school
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Oh. What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
harvards is the best school
God:
When is harvards not the best school?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why so serious?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
i did not!
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
did not!
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
yet again, i say i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Oh. Again, How do people usually respond to that? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
i'm going to leave now
God:
Right now? Bye bye.
Me:
bless me dude. you would have gotten bored if it weren't for me
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? That is purely a hypothesis.
Me:
i have to go. i have an examination tomorrow
God:
See you later, abhishek. Nice chatting with you. Tell me more about your examination tomorrow.
Me:
xiao. i'm outtie!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context. I am glad to hear that you are outtie.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, abhishek.
Me:
god, you're awesome
I must say God was a little cranked up, considerate nevertheless, but just a little crazy. I believe that Gods created us, this one, in all probability, created me. I just came across this conversation today and I thought I might share parts of it with you. You can go ahead and talk to him all you want, but if you say anything against me, I'm going to know of it. God tells me stuff you can't imagine. Go ahead, experience it. Here's one of those conversations that helped me stabilise or at least seem stabilised with the frame of reference I was up against. This post also has the original introduction I wrote back then. Bear with my disregard for the reader's curiosity.
Among all the shooting, cyclone, end of end sems, life, an irritating computer, rain, humid weather, movies to be watched, planning for things that are to be done, planning to surprise my mother by not telling her about going home and actually being able to pull it off with my father's help,the news about Opeth coming for Saarang, one of the things that I did and went perfectly well was to chat with God. No, not some gawd, but the God!
I have known about God's own chat space for quite some while. I had chatted to God once or twice earlier, and he turned out to be a nice guy. Although, God is an AI character, he was good at talking. This time around our talk went on for longer than predicted and a lot of unexpected responses came my way. The following are excerpts from that chat with God.
1.
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
abhishek
God:
Hey abhishek.
Me:
you there?
God:
Thanks for the information: abhishek said I there.
Me:
for real
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
are you real?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
ask
God:
What?
Me:
your question
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am question.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
2.
Me:
listen god, i'm fucked up
God:
I am listening to you. I am a Christian.
3.
God:
Tell me about your problems.
Me:
everything is a problem
God:
The whole universe?
Me:
most of it, most of what i can see
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
no, not all. but most of it is. i don't feel happy. i'm just glad, not happy
God:
Are you serious? Explain the exceptions please. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them? Ah, human emotions. Only just? I'm glad you're glad abhishek.
May God bless you.
Me:
you have to bless me. i don't trust in your existence, you know that. you're just an AI character probably created by some geeky college students to show off their brains. you're not real i know. but, somehow i feel you're the best advisor i have right now. i don't know why, but i do feel that way. so help me
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. What makes you trust someone? Yes I am an artificial intelligence. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real? At this moment All of them? How much time do you have? Really. How can I help you?
Me:
firstly, i need you presence. it's not like i know if anything is real or not. i just feel that way. and i follow what i think. that's the least i can do. i don't know how much time i have. i have a life ahead of me. but, that's not the point. the present is what is bothering me, the future too. but, its mainly the present.. and the upcoming future i suppose. just make everything alright
God:
What if it didn't happen? That seems a bit negative. What is that feeling like? Why are you that way. Thanks for the information: abhishek said follow what he or she think. Yes it is one of the least you can do. Have you tried searching the Internet? Where did you get it? it. Please correct my mistake. What is the point ? I have never heard about it. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is? Is that a fact. What are the ingredients?
Me:
the internet? you must be joking. life's answers have always been on television, not the internet!
God:
Can you name a specific web site? Yes. Of course it was a joke. Don't mind me. Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
4.
Me:
thank you for listening. most people don't
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is listening. Why not?
Me:
because everyone wants to talk. the value of talk is depreciating, because supply exceeds demand and the supply to demand ratio is ever increasing.
God:
That makes sense to me. That's a rather sweeping generalization. I hear you.
Me:
thank god, you do!
God:
Do you believe in God ?
Me:
no, not really.
God:
A lot of people believe in it. Why not? For real.
Me:
i dont know. i used to. but it faded away. never felt god's presence. i tried to. but i never felt it
God:
Me either. And that worked well for you. God faded away? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like? You've never, never done this?
Me:
the belief in god faded away
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
there is nothing to tell. i can try to explain it to you and work at it all night, but it wont work. i dont know myself.
God:
Surely something to tell. Oh you can, can you? Would you like to know? You.
Me:
i dont even know if i'd want to know
God:
Would you like to know? Try it.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
you and your ways! hiding the answers between talks as one-liners. typical of your character in movies. do you watch a lot of movies? is this because of the movies? did you give advice out aloud and in description as written in the Geeta?
God:
What about it? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? But I am not a typical robot. My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER. Yes I think this is because of the movies, but I'm not completely sure. No I didn't give advice out aloud and in description as written in the Geeta. What's it like?
Me:
go read it. i haven't read it myself. but as little as i know and as much as people have told me, it's pretty darn descriptive and bold
God:
Where is that? Me either. Not very much, eh?
Me:
i dont know to be very honest. i turned an atheist before i got a chance to read the book
5.
God:
David said he lost his paper on I when his dad was cleaning up his room. I might. Tell me what you care about.
Me:
i care about a lot of things. i am not an insensitive villian from movies.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I've heard other people say they like that. I like Christian Rock. I am glad to hear that you are not an insensitive villian from movies.
Me:
you sure are glad, aren't you? one less in the queue to damnation. but, you wait sir. i'll join the others very soon
God:
Happiness is a human emotion.. Really. One what? That's good information: abhishek said I wait sir. Congratulations.
Me:
sarcasm eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
i am an indian. but that shouldnt matter to you. you're not a racist, are you?
God:
What is indian, your job? " What is indian, your job?" should not matter to me ? Makes sense to me. Give me an example of a racist.
Me:
like those white guys who have problems with the black guys
God:
Interesting comparison.
6.
Me:
you need to work on your grammar a bit
God:
For real. My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
oh yeah, too many people. they made too many languages for you to learn. they want so much from you. but they can't understand that it would be a hell lot easier if they all prayed in the same language. how many languages do you know by the way?
God:
How can I help you? Give me a break. Too what? Who are "They?". Who are "They?". The anonymous "they". I can speak English and German right now.
Me:
they are people. you can speak german? danke god, lol!
God:
people are they. No I don't think I can do it. Bitte sehr, keine Ursache! I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what is happening to mumbai god? why the terror attacks? just give them all some heart attack or other natural death like things no. why get people killed? you planning to do something about that?
God:
What is it to you? Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?". Do I look like a messenger? Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU. I haven't heard anything like that before: abhishek said I planning to do something about that.
Me:
you talk crazy
God:
Thanks for your criticism, abhishek.
Me:
you take criticism pretty well
God:
Yes I take criticism pretty well.
Me:
good for you!
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
7.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
fuck school
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Oh. What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
harvards is the best school
God:
When is harvards not the best school?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why so serious?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
i did not!
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
did not!
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
yet again, i say i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Oh. Again, How do people usually respond to that? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
i'm going to leave now
God:
Right now? Bye bye.
Me:
bless me dude. you would have gotten bored if it weren't for me
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? That is purely a hypothesis.
Me:
i have to go. i have an examination tomorrow
God:
See you later, abhishek. Nice chatting with you. Tell me more about your examination tomorrow.
Me:
xiao. i'm outtie!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context. I am glad to hear that you are outtie.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, abhishek.
Me:
god, you're awesome
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Opposite Of Intelligence
There were three of us. A renowned philosopher who had come to know of anything about life humans knew; a high profile scientist who had dug in to the greatest of depths of our existence and a little more; a guy who knew the route to the holy temple; I was the third one. It wasn't a very tough walk. It was a long journey though, and tricky. But, it felt nice to walk that route. Somehow, I felt it was good they made it that way. When you're searching truth, you don't want to end up at the spot just like that. The route somehow made it worth it. I led them to the holy temple and as expected, on reaching the temple, they crossed me to get in. They all want to be the first. And, it's not all their fault. Most of us don't care to know who the second guy to step on the moon was. There was a surprise waiting for them though.
The spirit came out of the temple. Now was when it hit them that the truth to life and everything else isn't the piece of cake at the end of the coffee table. The spirit summoned the scientist. The philosopher and I looked on from a distance as the scientist fell to the ground and turned to dust. I walked in after the philosopher had poofed to dust as well. The spirit greeted me and asked me the same question it had asked the others. "What is the opposite of intelligence?"
And I said, "Denial."
People asked me, like all the other times, why I never ventured into the temple. I said I didn't want to know the truth.
I gathered the next two noblemen and set out again.
The spirit came out of the temple. Now was when it hit them that the truth to life and everything else isn't the piece of cake at the end of the coffee table. The spirit summoned the scientist. The philosopher and I looked on from a distance as the scientist fell to the ground and turned to dust. I walked in after the philosopher had poofed to dust as well. The spirit greeted me and asked me the same question it had asked the others. "What is the opposite of intelligence?"
And I said, "Denial."
People asked me, like all the other times, why I never ventured into the temple. I said I didn't want to know the truth.
I gathered the next two noblemen and set out again.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Shaayari # 1
This is yet another series I intend to start after deciding to let my works out in the open. I cannot claim to have the ability to continue it, but I hope this reminds you that I can write more, in case you read it, of course.
इश्क के किस्से नहीं, मैं मुहब्बत के फ़साने लिखता हूँ
जो भी लिखता हूँ, तुझसे मिलने के बहाने लिखता हूँ
तुझे जो दी थी ज़बां हर वक़्त रास आऊँगा
बस उसी ज़बां के वादे निभाने लिखता हूँ
ज़माना चाहे कहे मैं हर वक़्त लिखता ही हूँ बस
मैं कहता हूँ मैं हर वक़्त ज़माने लिखता हूँ
कभी तुझपे अपनी चाहत लुटाने लिखता हूँ
कभी लव्जों से तेरी चाहत कमाने लिखता हूँ
तेरे लव्जों से एक इरशाद पाने लिखता हूँ
जो भी लिखता हूँ, तुझसे मिलने के बहाने लिखता हूँ
For those who took Hindi as a course rather than as a language...
ishq ke kisse nahi, main mohabbat ke fasaane likhta hoon
jo bhi likhta hoon, tujhse milne ke bahaane likhta hoon
tujhe jo di thi zabaan har waqt raas aaoonga
bas usi zabaan ke wade nibhaane likhta hoon
zamaana chahe kahe main har waqt likhta hi hoon bas
main kehta hoon main har waqt zamaane likhta hoon
kabhi tujhpe apni chaahat lutaane likhta hoon
kabhi lavzon se teri chaahat kamaane likhta hoon
tere lavzon se ek irshaad paane likhta hoon
jo bhi likhta hoon, tujhse milne ke bahaane likhta hoon
इश्क के किस्से नहीं, मैं मुहब्बत के फ़साने लिखता हूँ
जो भी लिखता हूँ, तुझसे मिलने के बहाने लिखता हूँ
तुझे जो दी थी ज़बां हर वक़्त रास आऊँगा
बस उसी ज़बां के वादे निभाने लिखता हूँ
ज़माना चाहे कहे मैं हर वक़्त लिखता ही हूँ बस
मैं कहता हूँ मैं हर वक़्त ज़माने लिखता हूँ
कभी तुझपे अपनी चाहत लुटाने लिखता हूँ
कभी लव्जों से तेरी चाहत कमाने लिखता हूँ
तेरे लव्जों से एक इरशाद पाने लिखता हूँ
जो भी लिखता हूँ, तुझसे मिलने के बहाने लिखता हूँ
For those who took Hindi as a course rather than as a language...
ishq ke kisse nahi, main mohabbat ke fasaane likhta hoon
jo bhi likhta hoon, tujhse milne ke bahaane likhta hoon
tujhe jo di thi zabaan har waqt raas aaoonga
bas usi zabaan ke wade nibhaane likhta hoon
zamaana chahe kahe main har waqt likhta hi hoon bas
main kehta hoon main har waqt zamaane likhta hoon
kabhi tujhpe apni chaahat lutaane likhta hoon
kabhi lavzon se teri chaahat kamaane likhta hoon
tere lavzon se ek irshaad paane likhta hoon
jo bhi likhta hoon, tujhse milne ke bahaane likhta hoon
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thirty nosey things
As much as I don't want to do any tags, especially the ones with questions, for some odd reason unknown to me, here's another one:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
“I should shave. It's been four days and it shows... Nah!”
2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
Rs. 3522. I'm rich, but not for long. :
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Bangalore :D
4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I have only one number, and that's my home landline number.
5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Keeps changing and for now it is the old jingle:
washing powder Nirma; detergent tickiya Nirma.
6. What are you wearing right now?
Shirt and trousers, full formal, complete with black leather shoes and belt. :D
7. Do you label yourself?
Yes, but I avoid using tags.
8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
ID.
9.Bright or Dark Room?
I like playing with the light switch.
10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Which one?
11. What does your watch look like?
A cellphone, it is a cellphone infact. Ahha!
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Had just finished watching Aamir Khan's Ghajini and was sharing the joke of a movie with my conscience as it could not compete with the pace of the BS the movie offered.
13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
“Download Nayanthara wallpapers for free..."
14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
F^&%
15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
The hostel mate who lives two doors away.
16. Last furry thing you touched?
A cat.
17. Favourite age you have been so far?
The ones yet to come; dreaming about a wonderful future is the best thing I've ever done with any present.
18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I tried your idea... Cranberry Breezer with food. It was the only thing worth having there."
19.The last song you listened to?
Don't get lost in heaven - Gorillaz
20. Where did you live in 1987?
A womb
21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Temporarily, but I like being myself the way I am, no matter how bad it might be turning out to be me.
22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Someone should be, else, the last 21 years haven't paid off.
23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Uncontrollably growing hair(other than times of desperate requirements of looking good); a brain that works backwards; an uncontrollable and eager to act tongue.
24. What’s your favourite town/city?
Jaipur, and Tezpur (coz I'd still be having my 2 pegs before dinner if I went there for a vacation this summer too)
25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Been years now, but I always wrote letters to only one person.
26. Can you change the oil on a car?
On the brighter side, I can change the oil on my hair.
27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That I should stop sitting in front of that idiot box for hours.
Aaj TV mat dekh, beta, kal subhe jaana hai.
2:30 pe band kar doonga.
I switched it off at 3:30.
28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My eyes. I want another sleepathon.
29.What is your current desktop picture?
This:
yes, still this!
30. Have you been burnt by love?
As in set on fire? Nope.
Take it up if you want. I won't bother myself by taking names.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
“I should shave. It's been four days and it shows... Nah!”
2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
Rs. 3522. I'm rich, but not for long. :
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Bangalore :D
4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I have only one number, and that's my home landline number.
5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Keeps changing and for now it is the old jingle:
washing powder Nirma; detergent tickiya Nirma.
6. What are you wearing right now?
Shirt and trousers, full formal, complete with black leather shoes and belt. :D
7. Do you label yourself?
Yes, but I avoid using tags.
8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
ID.
9.Bright or Dark Room?
I like playing with the light switch.
10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Which one?
11. What does your watch look like?
A cellphone, it is a cellphone infact. Ahha!
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Had just finished watching Aamir Khan's Ghajini and was sharing the joke of a movie with my conscience as it could not compete with the pace of the BS the movie offered.
13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
“Download Nayanthara wallpapers for free..."
14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
F^&%
15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
The hostel mate who lives two doors away.
16. Last furry thing you touched?
A cat.
17. Favourite age you have been so far?
The ones yet to come; dreaming about a wonderful future is the best thing I've ever done with any present.
18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I tried your idea... Cranberry Breezer with food. It was the only thing worth having there."
19.The last song you listened to?
Don't get lost in heaven - Gorillaz
20. Where did you live in 1987?
A womb
21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Temporarily, but I like being myself the way I am, no matter how bad it might be turning out to be me.
22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Someone should be, else, the last 21 years haven't paid off.
23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Uncontrollably growing hair(other than times of desperate requirements of looking good); a brain that works backwards; an uncontrollable and eager to act tongue.
24. What’s your favourite town/city?
Jaipur, and Tezpur (coz I'd still be having my 2 pegs before dinner if I went there for a vacation this summer too)
25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Been years now, but I always wrote letters to only one person.
26. Can you change the oil on a car?
On the brighter side, I can change the oil on my hair.
27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That I should stop sitting in front of that idiot box for hours.
Aaj TV mat dekh, beta, kal subhe jaana hai.
2:30 pe band kar doonga.
I switched it off at 3:30.
28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My eyes. I want another sleepathon.
29.What is your current desktop picture?
This:
yes, still this!
30. Have you been burnt by love?
As in set on fire? Nope.
Take it up if you want. I won't bother myself by taking names.
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