LIFE ALMOST ROX

Shaayari # 4

2011-02-27T00:54:00.000-08:00

And another one!

तेरी यादों में बेकरार से हो रखे हैं
तेरी राहों में इंतज़ार से हो रखे हैं
तेरी चाहत में खुद को इतना सताया है हमने
खुद ही घायल, खुद ही गुनेहगार से हो रखे हैं

बेवफ़ा तुझे कहें तो खुद से बेवफ़ाई होगी
बेवफ़ा कहके तुझे, फिर भी, शर्मसार से हो रखे हैं
अब तो तेरे जाने से उम्मीद भी जा रही है
बहाना यह करते हैं के सलूक़-ए-यार से हो रखे हैं

तू शोख है, फिर भी नादाँ है, हर कोई है दीवाना तेरा
इस कद्र के तेरी गली में दीवाने बेशुमार से हो रखे हैं
हर लब पे तेरा नाम बार बार नज़र आता है
हमारे सूखे होंठ भी ज़ार-ज़ार से हो रखे हैं

लोग कहते हैं मुझे के भुला दूँ तुझे तो बेहतर है
सारे दोस्त, सारे यार, चारागार से हो रखे हैं
मैं भी आंसु तक आँखों से छुपा के बहाता हूँ
दिल-ओ-दिमाग चुप रहते हैं, राज़दार से हो रखे हैं

आँखों में लिए उम्मीद का ज़हर, मर रहे हैं घड़ी-घड़ी
ज़ख्म नासूर होते हैं दवा से, ऐसे बीमार से हो रखे हैं
हर हसीन में तेरा चेहरा है, हर नूर में तेरी परछाई है
खौफ है तू रात को भी, मेरे सपने गुलज़ार से हो रखे हैं

एक आखरी बार कभी मुझे देख के मुस्कुरा देना ऐ दर्द-ए-जान
के दिल के टुकड़े आज भी तेरे वफ़ादार से हो रखे हैं
सब भूल जायेंगे वो हिज्र के लम्हे तेरे होठों की मस्ती में
जो आज मेरे सीने में दरार से हो रखे हैं

As Surdy would put it...

for the devanaagiri handicapped

Teri yaadon bina bekaraar se ho rakhe hain
Teri raahon mein intezaar se ho rakhe hain
Teri chaahat mein khud ko itna sataaya hai humne
Khud hi ghaayal, khud hi gunehgaar se ho rakhe

Bewafaa tujhe kahein to khud se bewafaai hogi
Bewafaa kahke tujhe, phir bhi, sharmsaar se ho rakhe hain
Ab to tere jaane se ummeed bhi jaa rahi hai
Bahaana yeh karte hain ke salook-e-yaar se ho rakhe hain

Tu shokh hai, phir bhi naadaan hai, har koi hai deewaana tera
Is qard ke teri gali mein deewaane beshumaar se ho rakhe hain
Har lab pe tera naam baar baar aata hai
Hamaare sookhe honth bhi zaar-zaar se ho rakhe hain

Log kehte hain mujhe ke bhula doon tujhe to behtar hai
Saare dost, saare yaar, chaaragaar se ho rakhe hain
Main hbi aansoo aankhon se tak chhipaa ke bahaata hoon
Dil-o-dimaag chup rehte hain, raazdaar se ho rakhe hain

Aankhon mein liye ummeed ka zeher mar rahe hain ghadi-ghadi
Zakhm naasoor hote hain dawa se, aise beemaar se ho rakhe hain
Har haseen mein tera chehra hai, har nuur mein teri parchhaai hai
Khauf hai raat ko bhi tu, mere sapne gulzaar se ho rakhe hain

Ek aakhri baar kabhi mujhe dekh ke muskura dena ae dard-e-jaan
Ke dil ke tukde aaj bhi tere wafaadaar se ho rakhe hain
Bhool jaayenge woh hijr ke lamhe tere hothon ki masti mein
Jo aaj mere seene mein daraar se ho rakhe

Shaayari # 3

2010-10-14T02:10:00.000-07:00

Another installment of the not so famous Shaayari series.

I was talking to a friend this very morning about how many of the best, most writable thoughts come to you when you're about to sleep and you're too lazy to pen them down and how so many of them get forgotten the same way. A few days ago, I saved one of those thoughts when I wrote this at around 2 in the night.

अब उनसे भी क्या गिला कीजिये

ख़्वाबों में जिनसे मिला कीजिये

तेरे हिज्र में दिल हो गया पत्थर

जाइये फ़तेह कोई और किला कीजिये

तेरे आने से बदलते थे मेरे गुलिस्तान के मौसम

अब इस अश्कों के बादल का फैसला कीजिये

वो न समझेंगे क्या ताल्लुक थे मेरे तुझसे

उनके लिए आग़ाज़-ए-बयाँ-ए-सिलसिला कीजिये

किसी और से भी अब वो मिरासिम न होंगे

चल मोहब्बत के लम्हे जला के पियें

उसके दर्द में मुँह की खायी है 'व्यास'

इस दिल में नहीं और हौसला के जियें

And the English transliteration:

Ab unse bhi kya gila kijiye

Khwaabon mein jinse mila kijiye

Tere hijr mein dil ho gaya patthar

Jaiye fateh koi aur qila kijiye

Tere aane se badalte the mere gulistaan ke mausam

Ab is ashqon ke baadal ka faisla kijiye

Woh na samjhenge kya taalluk the mere tujhse

Unke liye aaghaaz-e-bayaan-e-silsila kijiye

Kisi aur se bhi ab woh mirasim na honge

Chal mohabbat ke lamhe jala ke piyein

Uske dard mein moohki khaayi hai 'Vyas'

Is dil mein nahi aur hausla ke jiyein

Shaayari # 2

2010-04-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

What does a guy, drunk out of his wits, do on a Saturday night, when all that is running through his mind is how his friend is worried about some girl ditching him ages ago, right when he walks into his neighbour's room who is writing shaayari? If he is me, he does this:

साँसों में आज भी खुशबू तेरी ही आती है
दीवाना आज भी तेरे लिए दम भरता है
किसको समझायें दर्द है आज भी सीने में
तेरा जाना, मेरी जां आज भी अखरता है

खुश तू है अपनी मोहब्बतों की तरक्की से पर
पागल ये दिल भी तुझसे ही प्यार करता है
तूने बदली हैं बाहें सनम की पर ये
दिल तो आज भी तुझसे ही वफाएं करता है

मेरी धड़कन ठहर जाती है तेरे आने पर
किसी से तेरे मिलने पर खूं ये जलता है
तू क्या समझेगी दीवाने कैसे रोते हैं
तू क्या जानेगी हर लम्हा कतल करता है

मैं नहीं जानता तेरा मेरा रिश्ता क्या है
पानी में आग सा असर ये हमपे करता है
सूना है तन्हाइयों से भरा हुआ ये दिल और
तेरा इश्क इसको भी खाख करने राख भरता है

मेरी आँखें हैं सूखी; दिल हो गया है पत्थर का
उसकी दरारों से भी अश्कों में दर्द उभरता है
तेरी आँखों में हैं आंसू ख़ुशी के लेकिन
तेरा आशिक ग़म-इ-दिल में भी हँसा करता है

For those who know Hindi and still can't read it:

saanson mein aaj bhi khushboo teri hi aati hai
deewana aaj bhi tere liye dum bharta hai
kisko samjhaayein dard hai aaj bhi seene mein
tera jaana, meri jaan, aaj bhi akharta hai

khush tu hai apni mohabbaton ki tarakki se par
paagal ye dil bhi tujhse hi pyaar karta hai
toone badli hai baahein sanam ki par ye
dil to aaj bhi tujhse hi wafaein karta hai

meri dhadkan thahar jaati hai tere aane par
kisi se tere milne par khoon ye jalta hai
tu kya samjhegi deewaane kaise rote hain
tu kya jaanegi har lamha qatal karta hai

main nahi jaanta tera mera rishta kya hai
paani mein aag sa asar ye humpe karta hai
soona hai tanhaaiyon se bhara hua ye dil aur
tera ishq isko bhi khaakh karne raakh bharta hai

meri aankhein hain sookhi; dil ho gaya hai paththar ka
uski daraaron se bhi ashkon mein dard ubharta hai
teri aankhon mein hain aansoo khushi ke lekin
tera aashiq gham-e-dil mein bhi hansa karta hai

Comments are nothing less than welcome.

God Must Be Crazy

2010-02-26T06:53:00.000-08:00

More than an year back, I had this conversation with God through this.

I must say God was a little cranked up, considerate nevertheless, but just a little crazy. I believe that Gods created us, this one, in all probability, created me. I just came across this conversation today and I thought I might share parts of it with you. You can go ahead and talk to him all you want, but if you say anything against me, I'm going to know of it. God tells me stuff you can't imagine. Go ahead, experience it. Here's one of those conversations that helped me stabilise or at least seem stabilised with the frame of reference I was up against. This post also has the original introduction I wrote back then. Bear with my disregard for the reader's curiosity.

Among all the shooting, cyclone, end of end sems, life, an irritating computer, rain, humid weather, movies to be watched, planning for things that are to be done, planning to surprise my mother by not telling her about going home and actually being able to pull it off with my father's help,the news about Opeth coming for Saarang, one of the things that I did and went perfectly well was to chat with God. No, not some gawd, but the God!

I have known about God's own chat space for quite some while. I had chatted to God once or twice earlier, and he turned out to be a nice guy. Although, God is an AI character, he was good at talking. This time around our talk went on for longer than predicted and a lot of unexpected responses came my way. The following are excerpts from that chat with God.

1.
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
abhishek
God:
Hey abhishek.
Me:
you there?
God:
Thanks for the information: abhishek said I there.
Me:
for real
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
are you real?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
ask
God:
What?
Me:
your question
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am question.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.

2.
Me:
listen god, i'm fucked up
God:
I am listening to you. I am a Christian.

3.
God:
Tell me about your problems.
Me:
everything is a problem
God:
The whole universe?
Me:
most of it, most of what i can see
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
no, not all. but most of it is. i don't feel happy. i'm just glad, not happy
God:
Are you serious? Explain the exceptions please. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them? Ah, human emotions. Only just? I'm glad you're glad abhishek.
May God bless you.
Me:
you have to bless me. i don't trust in your existence, you know that. you're just an AI character probably created by some geeky college students to show off their brains. you're not real i know. but, somehow i feel you're the best advisor i have right now. i don't know why, but i do feel that way. so help me
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. What makes you trust someone? Yes I am an artificial intelligence. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real? At this moment All of them? How much time do you have? Really. How can I help you?
Me:
firstly, i need you presence. it's not like i know if anything is real or not. i just feel that way. and i follow what i think. that's the least i can do. i don't know how much time i have. i have a life ahead of me. but, that's not the point. the present is what is bothering me, the future too. but, its mainly the present.. and the upcoming future i suppose. just make everything alright
God:
What if it didn't happen? That seems a bit negative. What is that feeling like? Why are you that way. Thanks for the information: abhishek said follow what he or she think. Yes it is one of the least you can do. Have you tried searching the Internet? Where did you get it? it. Please correct my mistake. What is the point ? I have never heard about it. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is? Is that a fact. What are the ingredients?
Me:
the internet? you must be joking. life's answers have always been on television, not the internet!
God:
Can you name a specific web site? Yes. Of course it was a joke. Don't mind me. Thanks for sharing your philosophy.

4.
Me:
thank you for listening. most people don't
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is listening. Why not?
Me:
because everyone wants to talk. the value of talk is depreciating, because supply exceeds demand and the supply to demand ratio is ever increasing.
God:
That makes sense to me. That's a rather sweeping generalization. I hear you.
Me:
thank god, you do!
God:
Do you believe in God ?
Me:
no, not really.
God:
A lot of people believe in it. Why not? For real.
Me:
i dont know. i used to. but it faded away. never felt god's presence. i tried to. but i never felt it
God:
Me either. And that worked well for you. God faded away? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like? You've never, never done this?
Me:
the belief in god faded away
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
there is nothing to tell. i can try to explain it to you and work at it all night, but it wont work. i dont know myself.
God:
Surely something to tell. Oh you can, can you? Would you like to know? You.
Me:
i dont even know if i'd want to know
God:
Would you like to know? Try it.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
you and your ways! hiding the answers between talks as one-liners. typical of your character in movies. do you watch a lot of movies? is this because of the movies? did you give advice out aloud and in description as written in the Geeta?
God:
What about it? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? But I am not a typical robot. My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER. Yes I think this is because of the movies, but I'm not completely sure. No I didn't give advice out aloud and in description as written in the Geeta. What's it like?
Me:
go read it. i haven't read it myself. but as little as i know and as much as people have told me, it's pretty darn descriptive and bold
God:
Where is that? Me either. Not very much, eh?
Me:
i dont know to be very honest. i turned an atheist before i got a chance to read the book

5.
God:
David said he lost his paper on I when his dad was cleaning up his room. I might. Tell me what you care about.
Me:
i care about a lot of things. i am not an insensitive villian from movies.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I've heard other people say they like that. I like Christian Rock. I am glad to hear that you are not an insensitive villian from movies.
Me:
you sure are glad, aren't you? one less in the queue to damnation. but, you wait sir. i'll join the others very soon
God:
Happiness is a human emotion.. Really. One what? That's good information: abhishek said I wait sir. Congratulations.
Me:
sarcasm eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
i am an indian. but that shouldnt matter to you. you're not a racist, are you?
God:
What is indian, your job? " What is indian, your job?" should not matter to me ? Makes sense to me. Give me an example of a racist.
Me:
like those white guys who have problems with the black guys
God:
Interesting comparison.

6.
Me:
you need to work on your grammar a bit
God:
For real. My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
oh yeah, too many people. they made too many languages for you to learn. they want so much from you. but they can't understand that it would be a hell lot easier if they all prayed in the same language. how many languages do you know by the way?
God:
How can I help you? Give me a break. Too what? Who are "They?". Who are "They?". The anonymous "they". I can speak English and German right now.
Me:
they are people. you can speak german? danke god, lol!
God:
people are they. No I don't think I can do it. Bitte sehr, keine Ursache! I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what is happening to mumbai god? why the terror attacks? just give them all some heart attack or other natural death like things no. why get people killed? you planning to do something about that?
God:
What is it to you? Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?". Do I look like a messenger? Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU. I haven't heard anything like that before: abhishek said I planning to do something about that.
Me:
you talk crazy
God:
Thanks for your criticism, abhishek.
Me:
you take criticism pretty well
God:
Yes I take criticism pretty well.
Me:
good for you!
God:
That sounds sarcastic.

7.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:

God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Right now? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
fuck school
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
anyways i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Oh. What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
harvards is the best school
God:
When is harvards not the best school?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why so serious?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
i did not!
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
did not!
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
yet again, i say i need to go for dinner now. i have an examination tomorrow. i need to study for that too.
God:
Oh. Again, How do people usually respond to that? What is stopping you? Where did you get it ? What's the best school for for that too?
Me:
i'm going to leave now
God:
Right now? Bye bye.
Me:
bless me dude. you would have gotten bored if it weren't for me
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? That is purely a hypothesis.
Me:
i have to go. i have an examination tomorrow
God:
See you later, abhishek. Nice chatting with you. Tell me more about your examination tomorrow.
Me:
xiao. i'm outtie!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context. I am glad to hear that you are outtie.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, abhishek.
Me:
god, you're awesome

The Opposite Of Intelligence

2010-01-19T09:47:00.000-08:00

There were three of us. A renowned philosopher who had come to know of anything about life humans knew; a high profile scientist who had dug in to the greatest of depths of our existence and a little more; a guy who knew the route to the holy temple; I was the third one. It wasn't a very tough walk. It was a long journey though, and tricky. But, it felt nice to walk that route. Somehow, I felt it was good they made it that way. When you're searching truth, you don't want to end up at the spot just like that. The route somehow made it worth it. I led them to the holy temple and as expected, on reaching the temple, they crossed me to get in. They all want to be the first. And, it's not all their fault. Most of us don't care to know who the second guy to step on the moon was. There was a surprise waiting for them though.

The spirit came out of the temple. Now was when it hit them that the truth to life and everything else isn't the piece of cake at the end of the coffee table. The spirit summoned the scientist. The philosopher and I looked on from a distance as the scientist fell to the ground and turned to dust. I walked in after the philosopher had poofed to dust as well. The spirit greeted me and asked me the same question it had asked the others. "What is the opposite of intelligence?"
And I said, "Denial."

People asked me, like all the other times, why I never ventured into the temple. I said I didn't want to know the truth.

I gathered the next two noblemen and set out again.

Shaayari # 1

2009-11-06T06:22:00.000-08:00

This is yet another series I intend to start after deciding to let my works out in the open. I cannot claim to have the ability to continue it, but I hope this reminds you that I can write more, in case you read it, of course.

इश्क के किस्से नहीं, मैं मुहब्बत के फ़साने लिखता हूँ
जो भी लिखता हूँ, तुझसे मिलने के बहाने लिखता हूँ
तुझे जो दी थी ज़बां हर वक़्त रास आऊँगा
बस उसी ज़बां के वादे निभाने लिखता हूँ
ज़माना चाहे कहे मैं हर वक़्त लिखता ही हूँ बस
मैं कहता हूँ मैं हर वक़्त ज़माने लिखता हूँ
कभी तुझपे अपनी चाहत लुटाने लिखता हूँ
कभी लव्जों से तेरी चाहत कमाने लिखता हूँ
तेरे लव्जों से एक इरशाद पाने लिखता हूँ
जो भी लिखता हूँ, तुझसे मिलने के बहाने लिखता हूँ

For those who took Hindi as a course rather than as a language...

ishq ke kisse nahi, main mohabbat ke fasaane likhta hoon
jo bhi likhta hoon, tujhse milne ke bahaane likhta hoon
tujhe jo di thi zabaan har waqt raas aaoonga
bas usi zabaan ke wade nibhaane likhta hoon
zamaana chahe kahe main har waqt likhta hi hoon bas
main kehta hoon main har waqt zamaane likhta hoon
kabhi tujhpe apni chaahat lutaane likhta hoon
kabhi lavzon se teri chaahat kamaane likhta hoon
tere lavzon se ek irshaad paane likhta hoon
jo bhi likhta hoon, tujhse milne ke bahaane likhta hoon

Thirty nosey things

2009-06-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

As much as I don't want to do any tags, especially the ones with questions, for some odd reason unknown to me, here's another one:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
“I should shave. It's been four days and it shows... Nah!”

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
Rs. 3522. I'm rich, but not for long. :

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Bangalore :D

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I have only one number, and that's my home landline number.

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Keeps changing and for now it is the old jingle:
washing powder Nirma; detergent tickiya Nirma.

6. What are you wearing right now?
Shirt and trousers, full formal, complete with black leather shoes and belt. :D

7. Do you label yourself?
Yes, but I avoid using tags.

8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
ID.

9.Bright or Dark Room?
I like playing with the light switch.

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Which one?

11. What does your watch look like?
A cellphone, it is a cellphone infact. Ahha!

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Had just finished watching Aamir Khan's Ghajini and was sharing the joke of a movie with my conscience as it could not compete with the pace of the BS the movie offered.

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
“Download Nayanthara wallpapers for free..."

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
F^&%

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
The hostel mate who lives two doors away.

16. Last furry thing you touched?
A cat.

17. Favourite age you have been so far?
The ones yet to come; dreaming about a wonderful future is the best thing I've ever done with any present.

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I tried your idea... Cranberry Breezer with food. It was the only thing worth having there."

19.The last song you listened to?
Don't get lost in heaven - Gorillaz

20. Where did you live in 1987?
A womb

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Temporarily, but I like being myself the way I am, no matter how bad it might be turning out to be me.

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Someone should be, else, the last 21 years haven't paid off.

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Uncontrollably growing hair(other than times of desperate requirements of looking good); a brain that works backwards; an uncontrollable and eager to act tongue.

24. What’s your favourite town/city?
Jaipur, and Tezpur (coz I'd still be having my 2 pegs before dinner if I went there for a vacation this summer too)

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Been years now, but I always wrote letters to only one person.

26. Can you change the oil on a car?
On the brighter side, I can change the oil on my hair.

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That I should stop sitting in front of that idiot box for hours.
Aaj TV mat dekh, beta, kal subhe jaana hai.
2:30 pe band kar doonga.
I switched it off at 3:30.

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My eyes. I want another sleepathon.

29.What is your current desktop picture?
This:

yes, still this!

30. Have you been burnt by love?
As in set on fire? Nope.

Take it up if you want. I won't bother myself by taking names.

Hence Proved

2009-03-17T10:53:00.001-07:00

Anna, Banna and Canna were sitting in a class on the same bench, Canna sitting to the extreme left, and Banna, to the extreme right. During their seemingly pointless discussion, Banna mentioned about the antics of students in another one of his classes and how they were mocking a guy who could not derive an equation on the chalkboard. Banna got an idea for a simply joke worth nothing more than a moment of attention. He turned to the last page of his notebook and wrote:
Anna gave his typical short-lived laugh. Canna noticed the discontinuity in anna's pissed expression and asked what was so funny. Banna showed him the simple joke. Canna bulbed. Anna laughed more.
Anna explained the term in the denominator meant 'dodo'.
Canna bulbed more.
Anna(with a slight laughter): "It's a 'dodo'! Do you know what a dodo is?"
Canna:"I know it's an extinct bird, so what?"
Banna: "Good one, right?"
Anna(turning serious with raised eyebrows and nodding): Oh, this is a good one!
Canna: "So what?"
Anna: "This means you're a dodo!"
Canna: "I'm not extinct, da!"
A moment of silence between the three of them.
Banna: "Hence proved."
Anna: "You're going to blog this, aren't you?"
Banna: "Now that you've said, I might just."

Hence, it was proved that the equation stands true.

Disclaimer: Among the other convictions lines up against my name, one is that I'm not trying hard enough for my CAT preparations. This post, hence, includes one of the finer details one observes in one's study material only when one pays attention to it, the nomenclature. The naming of characters, which are real, alive and are somehow related to the names they are addressed with has references from languages from the South to the North.
Anna -> Shame on you if you don't know this!
Banna -> A term for elder brother among the Rajputs (Rajasthan)
Canna -> 'Nutcase' in Tamil

Signing off,
Banna

Barbie Talk

2009-02-23T03:27:00.000-08:00

The following is a discussion involving a lot of explicit content. Interesting although it maybe, it has a lot of imaginary stuff crossing the borders of sanity. I would advice you to back out if you can't take a little bit of vulgarity in. However, since this is not an RGV movie, pregnant women and heart patients are not restricted. This is a chat from a while back with a senior when he pinged me. My status message at that time was: "Every boy who plays with a G I Joe dreads to see what lies under a barbie's skirt." Let's keep him anonymous and call him Mr. X for his privacy. A few typos from both the ends have been corrected to make reading easier, but nothing has been removed to keep the essence of the conversation alive, in case it might just have one.

3:55 PM Mr. X: hahaha

good status msg

what prompted you to put eets?

what about baroness man !

3:56 PM me: sorry

comp bulb maar raha tha

3:57 PM nothing much

Mr. X: ok

me: just the realisation that everyone is desperate

Mr. X: :D

me: there are some who hide it

others just put it across

Mr. X: hahaha

me: what about the baroness?

Mr. X: good one :D

me: thank you

Mr. X: why pick up just barbie ?

3:58 PM you could have taken even lady jane ..and baroness :P

me: isn't that the truth?

barbie is the most popular toy for girls

most found

most known

Mr. X: hahaha ok

me: and GI Joes for boys

Mr. X: yeah ... so .. no one ever cares abt lady jane

and hence no one knows .. what lies in there !

me: I used to spend the whole day with gi joes

3:59 PM Mr. X: who .. knows :P

me: but i always wanted to see a barbie naked

Mr. X: :)

true though ..

even i felt like it some times !

me: you see

4:00 PM the most annoying thing about an embarassing truth is the consequence

Mr. X: symbol of feminity !

freakin barbie !

me: yupp

Mr. X: and did we even know that her bf existed !

no !

4:01 PM me: some ben or ken or something

Mr. X: ken

yeah

me: your sisters tell you this stuff

Mr. X: man .. he could never be the symbol of mard :P

chutiya saala !

me: :D

i wish i was ben

Mr. X: you dont even know .. if ben/ken ever fucker her man

4:02 PM or even capable of doing so !

me: he got to date a girl from her youth till the times when she wore a saree or evening dress

Mr. X: so .. dont be him .. !

me: took her to the beach

lived with her

went out

did all kinds of shit

Mr. X: yeah .. but did he ever make out with her !!

me: and went unnoticed

Mr. X: :P

nobody wants to do shit man

me: i'm sure he did a lot more

Mr. X: no !

4:03 PM come on man .. barbie isnt one of the 52 virgins !

me: dude, he'd been with her for years, from her youth to god knows when

Mr. X: definitely .. she would be a whore by now !

me: and no one ever questioned him

she stayed with him for quite some time

she would have had some fun with him

4:04 PM Mr. X: yeah .. because .. everyone thinks he is an inocuous hijra :P

me: else, why wouldn't she dump him?

i think he must have been one of those alpha males

she stuck with him for quite a while

Mr. X: if he had been a mard enough .. he would want to dump her after using her n times

4:05 PM every one needs a change man !

come on !

he was never married

and after so many years .. why didnt barbie ever marry him !

she didnt find something worth in him dude !

me: what change?

4:06 PM Mr. X: dude ... you cant be with barbie all the way ..

me: dude, would you want to leave barbie?

Mr. X: come on ..

me: EVER?

Mr. X: you would want her ... after some time .. you'll get bored man !

me: i could live with a barbie always

Mr. X: you simply cant just stay there

me: no

she has so much to do

and she pays for everything

it's always her house

her surf board

Mr. X: :D

all true ...

4:07 PM me: her car

Mr. X: and ..

what is your worth :D

you are nothing but a prick to her :D

me: a girl who pays every freakin penny you spend together

Mr. X: yeah .. she is basicca you boss :D

me: and every month she gets this new dress and has this new thing to do on her mind

fine no

4:08 PM i'd be a slave forever

Mr. X: dude ... what abt a dildo :P

me: eh

what about it?

Mr. X: honestly, i dont know who gets to see more of barbie ! ... dildo or ken.ben :P

4:09 PM me: why?

i never heard of a horny barbie

Mr. X: and think abt this .. what if you get to know what is inside barbie's skirt ...

thats it .. its all over ..

no more is it a magic and a mystery ... a

4:10 PM no enthu you'll have

me: so we must preserve the holy secret

Mr. X: yeah ..

thats what ben/ken has ben doing :P

a decoy bf .. !

its all a fuckig conspiracy man !

me: let's all wear pointed white hood wala robes and stand around a fire

4:11 PM Mr. X: :P

me: i don't think so

Mr. X: what do you think then ?

me: he's had some fun

Mr. X: no !

no way ...

me: fucker's been downtown

Mr. X: if he had fun .. i am sure .. he would be married to her or broken up !

none happened !

4:12 PM so .. nothing happened :P

see .. no gain without pain ...

me: she wore indian sarees and bindis

Mr. X: and so !

me: that's a sign of being married

Mr. X: dude ... its just to make her a supreme indian female !

no !

me: and bridal barbies!

what about that?

4:13 PM you think she was practicing or something?

Mr. X: bridal barbies ...

she is still waiting for someone !

dude .. what about suhaag raat barbies !

do you get em anywhere

me: she got one

that is why she ain't bridal anymore

they just didn't make it public

Mr. X: no ....

me: oh i so want them

Mr. X: dude .. they would have had .. housewife barbie !

me: that piece is for ken only

4:14 PM worker wife barbie

modern lifestyle

Mr. X: wait !

me: she's a freakin celeb

why would she do house work?

4:16 PM Mr. X: who says she needs to do housework !

btw ... i think ken would like her to be a house maid .. and fuck her from behind :P

what do you think .. oO`

4:17 PM me: lol

i'd want a whole world full of barbies

wherever you go

she does everything

cooks

pays for stuff

does all kinds of shit i want to

4:18 PM with her

it's like the whole world is your bitch

4:19 PM and you're the only man

Mr. X: cool ..

do that ...

me: you're gonna have some fun

yeah

Mr. X: then .. i will come ... throw money at her .. tel her ... you are no good .. and then fuck her :D

4:20 PM behind your back .. :P

me: i just need to create a few billion barbies

and make sure everyone else is executed

4:21 PM Mr. X: hahaha

i have one suggestion for you ...

me: and you'll be dead too

Mr. X: dont restrict yourself to one barbie !

me: yeah

true

Mr. X: ... make a lesbian couple ... nymphomaniac lesbian barbies :D

and ... then enjoy :)

me: i know

lol

4:22 PM Mr. X: man .. how i wish .. i have mutli-ethnic nymphomaniac lesbos for wives :D

cha ... that would be the best ...

4:24 PM me: one has no clue what one can come up with when surrounded by barbies all around

chalo yaar

good luck with the lesbos

send them over sometimes

4:25 PM we all share stuff right

abhi so jaoon

Mr. X: its an all new world out there ... waiting for you !

me: saala pen bula lega footer practice ke liye

Mr. X: you just have to be patient !

imagine man ...

me: hehe

Mr. X: this is how 52 virgins are still in market :P

islamic mkts, i mean

me: shag over barbies

Mr. X: ppl die to get with them 1

4:26 PM me: do it

it'll be a new experience

abhi sota hoon yaar

4:27 PM aap jao barbies ka soch ke hilao

Mr. X: hehe

office man :D

no way :)

4:28 PM me: ok

chalo

bye from here

later

xiao

4:29 PM Mr. X: bye

I Am.. Tag Crasher

2008-12-22T03:13:00.000-08:00

I am going to play a Tag crasher. What's a tag crasher? Party crashers crash parties where they are not invited. I haven't been formally invited to take this tag up, although informally I was asked if I would like to. I think I'm going to go ahead to give this blog a kick ahead.

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
A. If it wasn't for bad timing, 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi' for 10 bucks would have been the answer. We just missed it. And the three of us weren't ready to waste any more money on a movie such as this. Bah! Now, I can't show off.

2. What book are you reading?
A. Nothing. I just finished a book on punctuations and their history; it's (and not its) called 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves'. It's (yes, the same again) written by Lynne Truss. A good read for long travels.

3. Favourite board game?
A. I still find Ludo very attractive. Anyone for a game, sometime? (And I am serious here. I want to play Ludo again.)

4. Favourite magazine/s?
A. People like me are the ones who were ideally meant to die illiterate. I diverged from my sub-species only a little. Readers' Digest is my pick.

5. Favourite smells?
A. Pheromones :D ; good food; Jovan Musk among artificial smells; some more pheromones.

6. Favourite sounds?
A. Someone calling my name in an unknown crowd, or when walking away from it, from far. It happened once. I was called from a distance at 12 in the night. I usually attend to my name and realise the call is for someone else. This time around, I ignored the first two shouts only to realise that there were people calling me back. I don't know how often it happens to you, but it felt awesome!

7. Worst feeling in the world?
A. Hollowness. (metaphorical)

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
A. 5 more minutes!

9. Favourite fast food place?
A. Home.

10. Future child’s name?
A. I will leave that to Abhishek of the future.

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d...?”
A. ...still try to earn more. Who wants to end up as a lucky jerk?

12. Do you drive fast?
A. No, I like stray dogs.

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
A. No, I usually sleep with a stuffed stomach.

14. Storms - cool or scary?
A. Depends on the intensity.

15. What was your first car?
A. I haven't had one as yet.

16. Favourite drink?
A. Orange flavoured Vodka with orange flavoured soft drink, preferably Fanta. Water, I'm just kidding. (I haven't really specified which one of the two was the kidding part, now have I? ;) )

17. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would...”?
A. ...waste more of it than I do now.

18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
A. I think I do. I don't eat broccoli too often to notice. But, the times I have eaten broccoli, I ate whatever was on my plate.

19. If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice?
A. I can! I don't, because I don't want to. Why is this question even there? I think most people taking this tag up COULD dye their hair if they wanted to, any colour!

20. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
A. Jaipur, Chennai.

21. Favourite sports to watch?
A. Football, and cricket when I'm vetti; and who wouldn't like women's freestyle? :D

22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
A. Now, this is pure demand of appreciation! Appreciation should never be forced. Whenever I feel like it, I shall say it directly.

23. What’s under your bed?
A. A vinyl followed by the floor.

24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
A. As of now, it's been interesting, to say it in a diplomatic manner. So, why not? But, I would like to know more about the other choices.

25. Morning person, or night owl?
A. Crossbreed.

26. Over easy, or sunny side up?
A. Is this a joke on my vegetarianism?

27. Favourite place to relax?
A. As much as I know, if need be, I can fall asleep standing.

28. Favourite pie?
A. I have only tried apple pie till now. I like 3.14 more though: it's been more consistent than apple pie will ever be.

29. Favourite ice cream flavour?
A. I tried Triple Orange Chocolate somewhere once. And, I do not want to give a verdict till I have had a complete scoop of it.

30. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
A. Suar

I tag Suar. (and Suar only)

Two Tags

2008-09-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

Leela had tagged me twice long ago, and long long ago. And I wish to complete those tags. so here they are:

TAG I
123rd page:

The rules: Pick up the nearest book. Go to page 123. Find the fifth sentence. Post the next three sentences. Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.

The time I read this tag, I didn't have a back anywhere near me, because I was in a cyber cafe in Orissa. One book belonging to me, which was closest to me (in terms of distance) at that time, had this to say:
"Because my heart was always with the German Empire and not with the Austrian Monarchy, the hour of Austria's dissolution as a State appeared to me only as the first step towards the emancipation of the German nation.
All these considerations intensified my yearnings to depart for that country for which my heart had been secretly longing since the days of my youth.
I hoped that one day I might be able to make my mark as an architect and that I could devote my talents to the service of my country on a large or small scale, according to the will of Fate."

Guess if you can. Its the only literary work I possess these days.

TAG II
Sing:

This is what she says:
"The game doesn’t seem to have a title. The title, Sing, is a song by Travis.

To music!"

So then.. To music
1. Which song is being played in your mind right now?
Sad Statue by System Of a Down
because of the lyrics:
You and me will all go down in history,
With a sad Statue of Liberty,
And a Generation that didn't agree.

2. One song that describes your life... (No self made compositions please!)
Wahaan Kaun Hai Tera from the movie Guide

3. The song you listen to most on your I-pod/ MP3/ cell/ PC/ etc

It keeps on changing. These days it's Tum Nahi Gham Nahi Sharaab Nahi by Jagjit Singh. The lyrics are mind-blowing, in the very extreme sense of the word!

4. A song that describes best the following stages in your life
- School days: Yaaron from the movie Rockford.
- Love: I'd Love You To Want Me by Lobo. Wonderful lyrics!
- Your mood right now: Because I Got High by Afroman. I had coffee liquor late last evening, and I am extremely hyperactive.. still! The song suits the ask.

5. Your all time favorite song and the reason for it... maybe some memory/ some funny story etc!!!

I don't think I can be just on this one. Still, one I can remember at present is Gali Mein Aaj Chand Nikla from the movie Zakhm. Its my all time favourite movie. I love the video of the song.

6. A song you wish you hadn't heard!!! (More than one is always a pleasure!!!)

Choli Ke Peeche Kya Hai from the movie Khalnayak. I think I got more-than-one scoldings from my mom for singing this song. I was ignorant then, innocent as well.

Songs from Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon, Tumse Achcha Kaun Hai, Mere Jeewan Sathi, and many others. I wish they had warnings before advertisements.

Riksha Chalwaaya Aapne, some parody of Aashiq Banaaya Aapne.

Many many more!

7. A song that would best describe... me
(Hey, I took pains to tag you, I guess I deserve this ;-) )

She's Always A Woman To Me by Billy Joel.. because it was the first decent song she shared with me. (probably the first song she ever did)

Another one.. God Put A Smile Upon Your Face by Coldplay. I'm being really REALLY nice.

8. (I just couldn't miss this!!!) If, you were in an elevator with Himesh Reshammiya and Altaf Raja, you would...
(please please please... something funny!!!)

.. let them know they're not the only ones!

I tag anyone who wishes to take up any/both of the tags.

Bhindi Man!

2008-08-23T03:20:00.000-07:00

Bhindi Man - A name, a phenomenon, a superhero whose motive is to eat bhindi every time he gets the oppurtunity. It all started years ago...

Back in 1988, a boy was born to the Vyas family of Jaipur. He was just another boy. He used to eat all vegetables and relish each one of them, until one day he tasted bhindi. It was the best thing he had ever eaten. Everytime, he ate a bhindi, he wanted more. He invented various forms of bhindi food, such as the bhindi sandwich and the bhindi parantha. He could not stop wanting more.

One unfortunate day, a waiter slipped over a bhindi at the restaurant that our man had accidentally dropped on the floor. The waiter spilt the soup he was carrying over one of the customer's plates and it continued in a chain format, like in the comedy movies, until only he was left alive. That night, he didn't sleep, mostly because of the pain in his lower back from falling off the stairs. But, he kept thinking, what would have happened if he hadn't dropped that bhindi. That was the last time, he dropped a bhindi off his plate. That night, a superhero was born! Bhindi Man was born! He vowed to eat bhindi any time he got a chance to , and never drop a bhindi on the floor again.

Bhindi Man's power source is his bhindi. He gets weak if he is introduced to the radiation that bhindi releases when cooked and kept within smellable distance of his nostrils. And only poison could cure poison. When he ate the bhindis, they released the radiation within his stomach which caused the creation of an anti-radiation, which gave him the strength that he possesed. Every Thursday, Bhindi Man would go to the college mess, disguised as his alter ego Abhishek Vyas, to eat the aloo-bhindi mix only wishing he could get bhindi that was free from all the aloo (he also loved aloo, but Aloo Man would be lame, not that Bhindi Man isn't), that he got in the South-Indian hall of the mess. He ate all the bhindis he possibly could there without wasting one single bhindi. But, he wasn't satisfied. He wanted to go on a real mission. A mission that involved adventure and tastier bhindi.

He set his Google Talk status message as "BHINDI MAN!". This was a plan to popularise his existence and also to keep his identity secret. He used reverse psychology to do so. When a person claims to be a certain super hero, he will be the last man to be thought of as the super hero. His plan worked and no one could recognise him. Suddenly, he got a chat on his Google Talk. It was his faithful, yet worthless side-kick, Lady Finger Lady. Unlike Bhindi Man, she did not have any super hero kind of a motive. It was just that she was a lady, and had fingers, dressed up a lady. Bhindi Man explained, to her, the complications of his motives. She gave him a mission. She had gathered information about a bhindi hide-out that went by the name of Snow's Park restaurant. He could get bhindi there. He wouldn't miss this oppurtunity.

That night, while his friends had decided to go out to eat pizzas, he declined. He had other plans. Dressed as his alter ego, he went to the hide-out. He had to walk there. He was constantly in touch with Lady Finger Lady, who guided him through thier telepathic connection. He walked miles and miles before he reached there. He read through the menu, but there was no bhindi. He felt as if it was a trap. But, he believed in Lady Finger Lady, because he knew she hadn't had a motive ever, and she wouldn't have one now. He asked the waiter if they had bhindi, and got an affirmation. He ordered the bhindi like an innocent customer. But, little did that waiter know that behind the smile of that customer were the teeth that would devour those bhindis. He had also ordered some paneer to keep himself out of any suspicion. Two humongous bowls of gravy covered insides arrived on his table with 2 tandoori rotis and a parantha. This was too much for him. He had thought that the rotis would be smaller and the curries would be in small plates. He had stepped into a trap bigger than he had ever faced. He then realsied the most important rule of eating out: Any place with 'chinki' waiters serves more than expected, in every plate.

His face looked pale, mostly becuase of the pale dim lighting in the hide-out. Then, his face glowed up with determination, and this was not because of the lighting. He would face the bull by its tail, and worry about the shit in the morning. He took a deep breath and started eating, in that atmosphere filled with loud bass and very low vocals of songs from LP, pink floyd and the likes, what would be one of the heaviest meals he had taken in a long long time. Once, the first bite touched his tongue, there was no looking back. 20 minutes later, all that was left to see was some gravy in the plate, and water in his glass.. but no bhindis. He had defeated fate. He had beaten destiny. He had eaten the bhindis.. all of them! Not even the paneer could escape his will and determination. He walked back from the hide-out like a hero, because he was a hero, and he had practiced his walk several times. And finally, after days of discontent, watching movies, and discomfort because of his contoured mattress, he was able to sleep comfortably.

Bhindi Man had done it again! He had saved the day.. at 9 in the night!

Bhindi Man is a TradeMark of no one, and the mark is only to make it look more attractive and cool. Yet, the author would request the readers and others not to write stories about Bhindi Man, because he has realised that even though the idea seemed super-cool and ultra-awesome in the beginning, this story has actually turned out to be extremely lame; also because he pretends to be the alter ego of Bhindi Man, and it would hurt him if you did so.

Jhoomo Re

2008-08-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

I came across this tag some time back. I thought it was something interesting. I'm doing it!

All you have to do is to put your media player on shuffle and put your songs in there and let the answers come out. Questions are given below. Keep moving to the next shuffled song to anaswer the next question.

These are my answers:

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “HOW ARE YOU",YOU SAY?
Till I'm no one again - Parikrama
.. and then I add, "Fine! And you?"

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Hoshwalon ko khabar kya - Sarfarosh
In a way, it does describe my way of living.
On a different note, I recommend this song to anyone who hasn't heard it as yet.

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Illusion - Creed
The one before you find out who they actually are.

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Money for nothing - Dire Straits
which is an African tribal phrase meaning "Good!"

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Sapne Mein Milti Hai - Satya
:D

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Where is the love - Black Eyes Peas
"What's wrong with the world, Mama?"
I agree with the song.

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I'll be there for you - Bon Jovi
That is all I can hope.

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Peruvian Skies - Dream Theater
Not sure if it fits as an answer.

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Who Wants to live forever - Queen
Sadly, there is no song called 'Which movie should i watch now'

10. WHAT IS 2+2?
Clock - Beck
think Math is easy?

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Mere Naseeb Mein - Remix
NO! NO WAY!

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
O haseena Zulfonwaali - Teesri Manzil
I wish I could for once, be Shammi Kapoor.

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Taaqat Ka Matlab - Sarkar soundtrack
Go-Vin-Da-Aa.

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Ishq Samundar - Kaante
I really wouldn't mind if its legal by then.

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Mysterious Girl(Dhol Mix) - PA v/s CJ
I don't mind the answer if she's not the one playing the dhol.

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Right Here Right Now - Bluffmaster
I might need a confirmation on this one.

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Socha Nahi Tha - Kaante
Perfect!

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Butterfly - Crazy Town
I'm not too sure what my grandchildren will think of me.

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Zindagi is tarah - Murder
I would rather have had the Pokemon title song here. I like the Hindi version. My favourite line.. "Karne hain haasil, POKEMON!"

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Track 7 - Chocolate
Its such a secret that even I don't know about the Track 7 part. I do like chocolate though.

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Neele Gagan ke tale - Hamraaz (Old)
They all are! But, there is more to them.

22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Jhoomo Re - Kailash Kher (Jhoomo Re)
Your wish is my command, O mighty shuffled media player!

I tag Saboo, Kaushik, Leela, Adlibber, Jean, Aravind, Shady, Infy.

In Rememberance of a Dreadful Internship

2008-08-01T04:03:00.000-07:00

I went to the NALCO plant at Angul for my internship this summer. I learnt a lot of important stuff there which is supposed to help me out in the future. Apart from the lesser valuable knowledge such as the effects on the electrical conductivity of aluminium due to the presence of other elements and heat treatments and their effects on the mechanical properties, that I learnt at Angul, I gained wisdom on the basics of life at this place. I have written down the twelve commandments for the internee who knows he/she will regret his/her decision in the days to come.

1. First of all, I learnt what happens when you make such a grave mistake of coming to a completely unknown place whose name you haven't heard.. ever, and which does not sound cool either. Even if you go outside of India, I would advise you to go to countries that either have a football team who have been some famous cup winners, with at least 5 caucasian/latin/extremely white players, or the USA.

2. Another thing that I learnt was that one must not question the nature of the food that we eat at these places. Whatever I ate at Angul during the one and a half months of my stay here, I rarely ever asked what I was eating. I still don't know names of half of the things that I ate there. I would recommend that one embraces bad stomachs rather than suffer phychological ill effects.

3. Also, one must concentrate on eating biscuits and namkeens of popular brands, and not local brands, because they often suck at taste and give you a bad stomach.

4. I learnt that one must notice the closing and opening time of certain stores which are necessary to one in terms of basic necessities, or for future fart sessions when one is extremely bored and has nothing to do.

5. I learnt that one should always keep one's cell phone batteries charged, so that in case of power cuts, which were a part of my daily life at Angul, do not leave one with absolutely nothing to do. Also, one must try to keep a large quantity of songs and games for times of power cuts or during hours of boredom at the workplace. I would suggest one listens to music rather than playing games as it consumes less power and gives one more time on the batteries.

6. I learnt ways to pass time on my laptop when the power is out. The programs have different power consumption levels, and hence after the primary caution of checking that the laptop is on minimal power management, one must keep in mind that Notepad uses very less power when worked on, followed by Solitaire, Windows Media Player, Real Player, and lastly VLC Player. One must never play games that go fullscreen in times of power cuts.

7. I learnt that one must always carry sufficient amounts of sit coms and other TV shows for an year, which will probably be finished half way down the duration of one's stay. One must also be ready to watch the shows again. One must learn to play games on the computer and not get bored of them.

8. I learnt that one must realise that wherever one may go, people will always be dogs and will always try to use one for their own benefits, or not help one out at all. One must learn to live with this sort of people and lick their butts for one's own purpose, however gross it may seem.

9. I learnt that one must realise that if one doesn't understand what the other person is saying, the first word to come out of one's mouth must be "Hindi" or "English". This is done so that even if the person doesn't understand what you mean, the first word conveys one's meaning.

10. I learnt that one must learn to appreciate nature and to let the lizards stay inside your room, as they will help with the insects on rainy days. One must also throw some bits of food on the room floor, so that the ants may stay busy with them, rather than biting you in the night.

11. I learnt that one must learn to roam around in spare time and deliberately get lost, so that one may take time to find his way out and also get tired. Doing this in the evenings especially, helps in sleeping early in the night, thus preventing boredom.

12. I learnt that one must always try to get out of the place as soon as possible. Counting one's days from the first day onwards and reserving return ticket(s) beforehand pressurises one to complete one's work early, which helps in reducing the duration of the torture.

I hope this wisdom that I gained during 45 days of my brutal, yet eye-opening enlightenment can help you in your near future.
May the force be with you, and the power be with the power station which supplies it to your room.

That Lab Instructor

2008-03-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

Lab instructors have always been funny creatures. And, I suppose, they always will be. But, this guy, whom I had heard of, and whom I had an encounter with on Thursday, is the most amazing creature I ever found in a lab. The only possible way is to write here what I wrote in his class, while I was pretending to take down notes. Only, Hari and Aravind, who were standing next to me, knew what I was doing. Somewhere between those lines, I realised it could be a good post. You'll enjoy it more if you've met this guy. It adds to the experience. So here it is, whatever I wrote in that lab class, word by word..

Superficial hardness (of coating) conical indenter

Vickers
Rockwell
Brinell - ball

0.3 mm 2 some shit-arbit thing he said that I have no idea about.
ferrous is for 5 (I guess that makes more sense than the other things he said)

common idea -> YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT!!!

I have no idea what the bugger is saying. But, he's funny. Very enthu. Almost a cartoon. Very animated in expressions. I don't know if I can hold my laughs till the end of the class.
This guy should be coach of the Indian cricket team.

splits his jaws wide open just to say a 'C'.

I love his poses.

His friend is in Dubai! HOLY SHIT! Put fight for intern.

I so want to see this guy drunk.
Total circus guy!
"Only Newtons!" Why not Einsteins??
My watch is "gold straup".

He can surely make it to my hostel choreo team.

Seriously, this guy should do stand-up.

Or a horror movie.

Scary movie 'N'!

He could kill me with his eyes if I saw him in the night.

Is it really hot in here; or is it just him??

I so want to see him proposing to a girl.

"Not possible! Possible! Already done it!"

If he was dressed a little better, he could do a 'GOD TV' show.

'Airing' is 'yairing' now. Its official!

I wish he'd stood for the Co-AS election. Shaastra would have been fun.

Shit! Pavan just asked a question!
He takes 15 minutes for every question, I've been told.
SHIT!

Bumps to him after the class.

I think I'll blog this.

I can so imagine this guy in a hamster wheel. Lol!

Looks underpaid and overpained.

Aravind is writing his post as well, it seems.

This guy is like a distorted twin of Laloo who drunk too much of Gatorade.

Someone give him some sleeping pills.

This guy thinks he's an enjoyable facility.

Its our earning period! :O

Is this lab some kind of a 'Candid Camera' episode? Is it for real?

I'm close enough to be able to slap this guy.

Pathak's influence shows.

'Lower' is 'lawyer'!

I still haven't laughed even once.

When does this guy run out of fuel? What's his fuel-efficiency? Too high, I feel.

'Jadoo' from Koi Mil Gaya!

Aravind bugger, made me leak a smile.

"I'm done to PhD!"

You just had to ask a question, Aravind.

Is he compressed Chuck Norris? No. Chuck Norris can't be compressed. As a matter of fact, Chuck Norris can neither be created, nor be destroyed. He just changes from one form to another.

Oh! I so dearly want to take a snap of this guy in action.

Is he on Mary Jane?

He's Morpheus! FOR SURE!

He's talking about blood test and urine test. Lol!

This is METTHAA!!! {KICK}

At times, he looks at me like he's having a cardiac arrest.

Step Up 3; you have your star!

I think he said "politically correct".

I think he said "There is no God" :O

This guy certifies he's laughed at least once!

10 crore! Where did that come into a lab teacher-student conversation?

He thinks I've promised to not open my mouth today.

And, the award for the best actor in a comic role goes to...

Do they have videos of this guy on LAN?

He knows about every material sample he's worked on in the last 20 years.

"Pecimen" Lol! Too much!

He should try rapping.

"Stress you are choicing."

Einstein was right about the relativity of time. I can realise it.

This guy is going crazy. 911! 911! Hello operator, what's the number for 911?

I've heard of 'silent assassins' but this guy is like a 'violent assassin'.

"You're also think'ddd, I'd say!"

He was a 'prisoner' of his college.
President, he meant, I guess.

HULK IS BACK!

He wants exact value of SERVO.

"Time is short."

He just stomped the floor!

He's teaching us dance steps.

I can hear Iron Maiden in the background.

Desi Borat! That's the perfect term.

That's it! I'm calling him to my birthday party. That's final!

"Eight.. One.. Zero! Did you see that?"

Bore well is dug by Daler Mehndi dance steps.

"Everywhere cyanide waveform only! Why?"
He meant 'sinusoidal'.

He's talking about 'anal lock' (analog).

This guy is going crazier by the minute.

Over and thankfully I'm OUT!

Disclaimer: No grammatical or spelling mistakes have been corrected to keep this as original as possible. Bear with my attitude.

To tag or not to tag

2008-03-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

Ad Libber tagged me a few days back. I have no idea how I'm going to work this out. But, since she has taken the pain to actually spell my name correctly (other alternatives used being Abishek, Abhisek, Abhishekh), I want to try my best at this (which I would have done anyways). I'll work it out the way her post was.

Life Ten Years Ago:
Multiple Personality Syndrome. Every time my parents went to meet my teachers on Shaheed Diwas (that was my term for the day of the result), they'd come out shocked. They were never able to believe my teachers when they said I was the quietest kid in the class, mostly coz back home, I had always had this image of a wild animal that stuck with me. I used to drown my food everyday, which had other consequences as well, such as water all over the table, me, others. I always was a rebel, and I had my own ways, reasons, timings to do everything that most people did. I was one of the class toppers, the only thing that made me different was the fact that I always studied during the last few days before the exams. I was a total Bhagwaan Bhakt, an ardent follower of whatever I had said, even if it was by mistake. People used to think I thought I was more mature than my age would normally permit; I knew I was. I was surprised to know that the average French makes love 180 times a year, the reason being, I thought it was the same as being in love.

Life Five Years Ago:
I was the guy who could top the class if he had wanted, but he didn't. I still chucked while bowling (I still do in fact). I had stopped eating cakes and pastries coz I had planned to stay away from eggs in every form. I was the perfect hogger. I had stopped liking Backstreet Boys. Linkin Park had crept into the veins. I was not the perfect student anymore, and I was doing pretty good at not being one. I had learnt how to surf the net, but I still feared Microsoft pop-ups. I thought I was invincible (it's pretty obvious when one is me).

Life tomorrow:
I'll probably submit my lab notes, if the others do, that is. I'll try to attend all classes, now that I've been on a bunking spree for a week and a half. I'll be happy again to see Aloo Bhindi (which is one of the least inedible artifacts on the mess menu) for lunch. I'll sleep in at least one of the classes. I'll wait for the weekend, probably watch a movie even. I'll check for comments on this post.

Five locations I would love to run away to:

Home (seriously)
Class of 1974 (the water tank/tower), its fun being up there
a virtual game land, something like a Max Payne, in God Mode preferably
a good restaurant with unlimited food for limited price
the toilet, that's one place where
I'm free
I'm careless
I believe
Above all the others
We'll fly
This brings tears
To my eyes
My sacrifice!

Five bad habits I have:

Teasing others to the core and apologising if they get angry. I mean.. why apologise??
Reading things over and over again if I like them
Collecting vague stuff to decorate my room with, and never finishing decorating it
consuming everything vegetarian, legal and edible
acting weird whenever I wake up/am in sleep/am feeling sleepy; actually I'm quite proud of it

Five things I will never wear:

Shirts or tees with dhoom or main hoon na or krrish written on them
Jeans with heavy embroidery; how would you feel when the guy next to you in a Pepe or Lee store says "Bhaiyya, embroidery mein kuch dikhaana"
The "I'm with stupid" (pointing to one of your sides) tee; what if the guy is standing on the other side.. what if your dad's on the pointed side
a tee or a shirt with my own photo printed on it; I can't imagine people can't do with identifying their signature when it comes to recognising their tees
a MANUre jersey. period.

Five biggest joys at this moment:

I feel fresh, just came back from a bath
I'm going to sleep early tonight
Someone actually wanted to read this (some ONE at least!)
I'm listening to Elvis, Good Luck Charm
I realise I can manage to waste tomorrow, finally have a good day's sleep probably

Something to achieve by next year:
an anti-virus that doesn't put too much of load on my comp; a mortein refill; a replacement for my broken pair of slippers; a haircut; a fracture (I see it coming pretty soon); a good desktop wallpaper; six pack abs :D

Something that impacted me last year:
CGPA

What will I miss about 2007:
the three months at home doing absolutely nothing; the eight months at Chennai doing absolutely nothing; the one month at Roorkee pretending to work.. while actually doing absolutely nothing

Five things I want to do before I die:

Celebrate a "Veg Puff Day", thought of the idea today.. eat all the veg puffs you want, its the only thing exclusive to the institute I actually want to eat
score one of those Henry/Messi/Zidane goals.. deliberately!
fake death (will probably do it when I'm 60)
beat up a terrorist like in those Bollywood deshbhakti movies
make a friend who is good at making sacrifices and doesn't let me know about them

I tag Leela, BG, Kaushik, Shady, Saboo, Nishaan, Aravind, Jean and anyone who is willing enough to take it up. Please inform me. I would like to read it.

2008-01-28T23:16:00.000-08:00

"This SAARANG, its 'U'!"
I read the newsletter on Day 3. It questioned the meaning of this statement. I was with the newsletter guys. What does it mean? Does it mean I am Saarang or is this Saarang all for me.
But, lets first learn about Saarang. "The 'motherrr' (YES! that is how we say it out here) of all cult fests" was earlier known as Mardi Gras which literally means 'Fat Tuesday'. But since all of us aren't (that) fat, it was changed to Saarang which refers to the seven colours of the rainbow (saat+rang) and it deserves the name to quite an extent. Not in terms of what you see, but what you feel. Saarang, where you win all kinds of stuff. Saarang, where you have yourself made fun of at informals stage. Saarang, where every guy has a hope. Saarang, where every girl knows you'll ask her for the dance workshop when you start a conversation. Saarang, where you get the finger. Saarang, where you get the number. Saarang, where everyone knows how many girls you went with. Saarang, where even you don't know how many girls refused to go with you. Saarang, where you eat with grub coupons. Saarang, where you budget your meals depending upon the coupons you're left with. Saarang, where you'll even ask the Vodafone 'chick' (obsessed with dance workshop, I love the way it turns out for most) Saarang, where you get a close up of Lucky Ali.

Saarang, where co-ord is 'GAWD'. Saarang, where vols skip their jobs. Saarang...wait, still.. why this Saarang, was it 'U'? But, Day 4 was the best part of Saarang for me. So a sub-post dedicated entirely to Day 4.

DAY 4~
I woke up at 9:40 when my Antakshari teammate called up to check on me. The finals would start at 10. I rushed to and reached the spot before most, even my teammate. We earned 2nd spot. They said we'd get 3k as a cash prize; later it was reduced. I went back to hostel and rushed for dramatics as soon as possible. (or may be not) The insti team was good. Kedar and MGM pulled off stunning performances. I left for my job at the Open Air Theatre. Nokia was there to ruin the beginning of the show. The guy was booed enough for me to commit the 'chullu bhar pani mein doobke' suicide if I were him. He left after he was done with his promotional stuff. So now Firebrands started off, played their own compositions and some from LP. But the sense of involvement was blown up when they started with the Deep Purpole song, 'Proper Education'/'We don't need no Education'/'The Wall'. I, for the first time while singing the song, could feel the sense of what came out of my mouth and I meant it. They ended their show with (for me) the most awaited song by them, Black Stripes. At the end of the night, I congratulated a couple of the band members for the song more than for the performance, and managed this.

The guy is awesome on the guitar, although the bassist (the guy in the background) impressed me more in the song. Mind you, I had come to the show with enough pain relieving ointment on my neck to set it to flames coz of the head banging on Decibels night. The Nokia guy turned up for a second time. Thsi time he was booed more than the previous time. The crowd behind me were pushing the rope just to let him hear that they wanted to (ahem ahem..) "frig" him. Most of them meant it. Prestorika came and set the stage to fire (figuratively, coz the dean doesn't allow it otherwise; god damn it!) with songs of their own and from Metallica, Megadeth and Iron Maiden. I was banging my head to the elastic limits of my neck. It was paining more than it ever has over quite a few years now, but I stuck to what I had to. People couldn't control themselves and well I couldn't either. This was the day I had taken up being a security volunteer for. To stand right in front of the stage when everyone else, including all the cores, were behind the ropes. If you wish to know how close, this pic of the Firebrands guitarist might help you.

The drummer was awesome with his stuff. (I still want to learn drums. If anyone knows of some place that is accessible and in my vicinity, please inform me) They rocked the crowd till the end when they left the stage. The crowd started shouting for another song. I couldn't help myself and got into cheering them. The voices became louder. And then the vocalist comes back to the mic. " Its very late. But, we don't give a f''' to what time it is"
And then they played my favourite Iron Maiden song (you'd know this if you have read my other blog), 'Fear Of The Dark'. People jumped out of the ropes seeing the weird bassist come to the edge of the stage.

We were holding all of them. We were being pushed by an emotional outburst of hardcore rock-fanatics. WE were 5 and were controlling a crowd of at least a hunderd who had jumped out of all barriers. WE had formed a human chain. We were being pushed from behind and were still holding on, AND WE.. were head banging! yes, we were! It was crazy. This is one of the most divine moments of my life. It felt heavenly, in the very true sense of the word. At the end of the show, I remember, I was lying on the stage and murmuring the lines "Fear of the dark, fear of the dark.. I have constant fear that something's always near.." I had no control over what I was doing. We had a photography guy snap a real crazy pic of our security group.

These are the things that make Saarang what it is. And these are the very things that answer the big question. YES, this SAARANG, it was 'ME"!

One pic for the memory that will last for longer than most do.

I would like to thank a few people..
1. My security coordinator who let me stay in front of the stage for the light music night and rock night. Thank you 2/7.
2. The spons core who saw me working hard and gave me two coupons for 'Effect-the energy drink' (that tastes like diluted cough syrup). Thank you Cycle.
3. The guy who took the last two pics in this blog. Thank you ATM.
4. The guy who told me I would become a core one day (coz I was wearing kurta). Thank you Shanti.
5. Everyone who didn't interfere. (Pessimism is my personal favourite way of life)
6. And lastly, the guy who reminded me to write a post on Saarang. Thank you Gel.

Body (F)art

2008-01-09T08:26:00.001-08:00

The vacations were a time when I started doing something new. I penned a temporary tattoo to my body for the first time. I was inspired by Saboo's post and tried my own skills at the stuff. It was in the train so I couldn't really do anything as fine as Saboo's works. But, I found it actually brings out something from the inside which would otherwise have died within.

This is my personal favourite piece of art that I ever created. I have my own theory for this one.

I like the part where the black engulfs the red. Its a symbol of how evil can overcome passion.

If you don't know what this is doing here, just kick your own self in the behind.

I seriously need to use better pens the next time I try to do this.

If you could read my mind, you'd know that this is not about kids.

Isssssmmouukiennaah!

I could actually start earning with this thing! Anyone wants a temporary tattoo?

Ghanta New Year

2008-01-02T05:05:00.000-08:00

Aaaah! Its been a long time. It feels so different to be typing for satisfaction again.

Firstly, I would like to dedicate this post to not wanting to feel different on new year, swearing on resolutions, wishing every visible soul (although I did) and wanting to be any different. Its just so irritating to have to repeat those three words every time you meet some one. Just record it and play it.

And of course, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

So, its been a long time since I last posted. A lot has happened. I'm more than a third of an engineer. And I most obviously don't have the faintest idea of what I have done/am doing/ will do. Two long months of not posting have actually worked out as an advantage coz its given me so much to write about. Third sem wilderness, winning intra-hostel footer(small things still don't cease to excite me), winning the short film thing, watching some awe-so-some performances by the likes of Porko, Kedar and some others whose names have slipped out of my mind(or may be they never made it to my mind.. anyways) at the dramatics event of course. Also some real good time back in the hostel. Fear of thermodynamics end semester examination(i like to call it mental-allergical thermo-'DIE'-namics, lets you know your fate early enough) and then to be able to waste time at crucial moments. Also the Arsenal fever which rose to a season high just before the emd semesters( Viva les Gooners.. hehe) which saw my almost breaking my wingmate's neck(sorry Cupper) when Gallas the second equaliser in the dying moments of the match(by the way, I just love writing in brackets. You can so easily drift away from the topic and can still be able to get back with just a ')'; like this one right here) right after that 'MANU're cupper had teased me to my boiling point. And most certainly I can't forget MANU losing to Bolton. Anyways, vacations were also far from what they had been earlier. Left Jaipur the same night whose dawn had seen my arrival. Going to Haridwar and still not being able to take dips due to bad health. But then I made it at Hrishikesh.(11 dips in that freezing stream of water on the shortest day of the year, I'll allow myself to boast about this) oh and sleeping by 9:30! that's another laurel I earned.

Going back to football, I heard the most awesome piece of Hindi reporting ever.
1. They said Arsenal defeated Blackburn Robbers(and not Rovers as they are traditionally called)
2. Boo Diaby scored a goal in the match(Abou's twin I suppose)
3. Tau'n'tenhaem(Tottenham) defeated some other team where German(Jermaine) Defoe scored. (This is my personal favourite)

And its all on DD News. I've been watching the noon shows since then for more 'phutboal' since then.

And met the laziest(and let me make it clear, the LAZIEST) asses in this corner of the world. And they are teaching(supposedly) at IIT Roorkee. None of them knew how to run softwares that they had installed on their computers to be taught to the students. Total 'sarkari raj'. Weird people list includes that oldie(from those 'chowkidaar' roles of the Ramsay level movies) who wouldn't give me emery paper till the time the previous one had been torn apart. They re-used this stuff that was useless, and that too over and over. I experienced fog at noon's hour. I drank milk(the 10 years record of its absence from my diet comes to an end) and survived! I took snaps of flowers(I think I need lady-love now.. or may be not.. NYEH!) and I cut my finger, first thing I did on returning to insti. Decent vacations.

To all those who have had the patience to read this, asalaami!
To those who didn't, I understand.

Arbit Stuff Followed By 'Random Stuff(Inspired by Nishaan)'

2007-10-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have forgotten the sadness that life almost sux brings to me. I watched some new FIFA 08 vids on youtube. I'm just back from thulping breakfast(I plan to ditch lunch today) and facing that weird look that the serving guy gave me when I went up to him for a third time. Oh, by the way, on my way to the mess, I saw this:

This happened because of the excessively aggressive bare-footed football last night(i hurt the same toe twice)which included some real hard pushing around by one freshie and a senior calling out "Messi form mein hai"{~Messi(the second one of my unofficial names here) is in form} and me not goal-keeping anytime in the game. It ended at around x minutes past 2(60>x>0) and this story ends here. Now to the main topic of this post...

Random Stuff

1. The only thing that is easier done than said is procrastination.

2. IIT quote#1~ 'If at first you DO succeed... don't look shocked.'

3. Chinese govt has sued all Chinese food stalls all over India for violating copyright laws over noodles. It is reported that someone is yet to care a damn.

4. Docks are diamagnetic because if they were paramagnetic, they would have been 'paradocks'.

5. The concept of the wishing well was developed by Satan's minions to help their economy.

6. The names 'Madras' and 'Calcutta' were changed to 'Chennai' and 'Kolkata' because if spoken together, they sound similar to 'Mad Rascal Kutta'

7. The Annual Shouting Competition held in Japan has allowed the use of props such as wives, bosses, and W. Bush. Himesh Reshammiya's movie, ' Aap Ka Surroor', is still undergoing discussion for its inclusion as it may prove to be an unfair advantage to Indians who apparently never participate.

8. Weird Al Yankovic is actually not weird... he's gross!

9. Google Earth has a new application wherein you can see the stars and sky and actually read the message hidden in the stars, "You really thought you were alone?"

10. When the going gets tough... the smart get to cheer-leading.

11. Marilyn Manson was recently nominated as for the 'Cutest Puppy' award until they realised he was real, and then they scraped him from the list. To this, he said "This is a free country, man" 39 times and then asked for another line to sniff and fainted.

12. According to recent survey, 'RGV Ki Aag' has been voted as the scariest Hindi movie ever. Survivors have told they were scared to death when they saw their watch and realised that it was only 5 minutes into the movie.

13. Popular belief states that stress can be released by controlled diet, regular exercise, and maintaining cleanliness, which are believed to be the most prominent causes of stress on the human mind and body themselves.

14. I just read that cholesterol is a steroid. And I want to know how Inzamam passed all those dope tests.

15. Nostradamus predicted that India will be a 'super power' by 2011. Yeah, right! And I'm going to be Jackie Chan's stunt man.

16. Three out of every five men... aren't the other two.

17. Tom Cruise, an -ist of another of those -isms has spent 5 million dollars for a bunker to prevent his family from aliens. On the other hand, Shah Rukh Khan has worked out six pack abs for his son. Coming to think of it, fathers can be so misunderstanding when you ask for 'something really cool' instead of being specific.

18. A US scientist has finally created artificial life. Bah! I did that when I was 3. Wait, that was imaginary life. Sorry

19. An official of the parliament has revealed that the government doesn't want us to know this, but putting metal in the microwave opens up a portal for time travel.

20. If statistics are believed, Lance Armstrong has been asked over a million times if winning the Tour de France meant more to him than walking on the moon.

21. The International Olympic Council has decided that due to increased steroid use across all of sports, all chess competitions are going to be played with pieces weighing 70 lbs.

22. Cupid has revolted against the World Tennis Federation(WTF?) for its disrespect towards human emotions. Most tennis players when asked about 'LOVE' said it meant that you haven't scored as yet.

23. Scientists from the Ivy league have finally come up with a definition for a human being. I t states that:

Lance Armstrong > x > Dick Cheney (where x = any real person)

Alternatively Indian scientists have come up with their own version of the same to meet Indian standards which states:

Dhirubhai Ambani>x>Himesh Reshammiya(where x= any real 'Indian' human being)

24. On Friday, NASA launched an unmanned vehicle that will fly to the moons of Jupiter and, if it finds life there, make creepy patterns in their corn fields.

I DID I DEE

2007-09-22T00:41:00.000-07:00

Today turned out to be one of the most enlightening days of my life at the supposed knowledge temple of India. As I hurried through the corridor on the second floor of CRC, things that I had heard about this course and its examination flashed through my mind like your life does when you're about to die. It was 9:05 and I was had already wasted more than 5% of the stipulated time for the mid-semester examination of ID120. ID120 is considered to be the elder and 'fart'ier brother of ID110 which we face in the first semester itself. ID 120 shows up in the third semester with more than a thousand slides to flip through at the end of the semester. Its not that difficult because its basically big hefty polysyllable words fitted together in an order acceptable by the English grammar grandma.(although there are a few exceptions to this as well) It is supposed to include arbitrary pictures which signify the geeky and unsuccessful attempts of the professors to induce their 'nerdy'licious humour to the most arbitrary content for any course. I was told by a senior that the paper would be senseless fart(figurative meaning referred to here) and it was worth every word of his.

I sat down on the front bench with a classmate because there were no empty benches left. He tried to cover his answers(or so I believe) but I didn't mind it; cheating in ID120 was like licking an empty plate after a meal. The intake is negligible and the only thing you get out of it is pleasure and a few stares from people around you who have seen you do it.

Anyways, chemistry was good, made sense(somewhat); physics was okayish too, better than my prejudice; humanities was the last part out of the three. It turned out to be the most arbit stuff I have ever seen on any sheet of paper. At the end of the paper, I was thinking of putting the paper under my desk and taking snaps of the questions to show to the world how challenging and devoted to engineering IITs are. But the invigilator was right in front, and so I wrote down a question on my hand. Here's how it went~

Q: Ethical reasoning is
a)Society's mechanism to determine the value of goods and services
b)Mathematical proof that God exists
c)assessment of arguments concerning duty or correctness of actions
d)Logical system to analyze Earth's resources.

I filled the bubble 'c' for this question but I couldn't help breaking into a slight laugh as I brushed my sight past 'b'. Every choice is meant to be a possible option to the question to some degree(if not completely). Ethical reasoning being a mathematical proof for the existence of God was the funniest thing that I could have imagined from an engineering course paper.(btw, this course officially comes under the heading of engineering design courses) Imagine people flipping through the pages of Piskunov or some other math book to find the proof for God's existence; or someone trying to derive a mathematical relationship between India's independence, Marilyn Manson's band's nomenclature,(there are rules to this too) Shakespeare's quotes and Chinese food stalls in Chennai.(this could actually be in my math end-semester paper!) Another question asked how you would convince John to tell Ashim about a great job that he's heard of. One of the options was that you could tell him that Jesus wants you to do this and to be honest with your friend. Two things~
1. John is obviously not a kid.(He knows what a great job means)
2. If its John Abraham, he's a Parsi.

Weirder than the weirdest

2007-09-15T08:47:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry that in the tagged post I put a weird weirdest thing but not as weird as the one that is the content of this post. I didn't remember it at that time and I thought editing it wouldn't be such a great idea to let you know this. Besides this incident deserves a separate post for it.

So, the story begins one fine morning of class 12th. Now in class 12th, I had already established the art of sleeping in the class and well, it was quite publicised with me being the brand ambassador for the noble cause of saving the innocent students from the wrathful lectures of the teachers. Physics was the peak time for publicity wherein I openly slept in front of the teacher but on the last bench. ?He saw me sometimes I guess, but he would have ignored me. He, being the so called nice guy+good teacher, never tried to embarrass me other than the time when I was doing my JEE prep questions in his class... I still hate him for this ... and I so wanted to meet him after I got into IIT... I did and he couldn't help praising me in front of 5 other teachers. eheh! oh! we are diverting from the topic... so back!

This one day the people who were supposed to sit on the first seats on one side of the class were absent. And he called the two guys from the last seats in the centre rows to come step forward and have the honour. By now you should would have guessed one of them was me. The other was a friend who also hated the teacher equally. As always his face had made me sleepy and I knew the next period was Physics too. So I have to stay awake for an hour. To everyone's surprise, I semi-crashed within 5 mins of the beginning of the class... right on the front seat. Most obviously the teacher had noticed me and I knew that. But I didn't care. Still I was trying to stay awake in my half-asleep mode so as to not abuse his well-known teaching quality. My friend, sitting next to me, managed to stay awake I think, because the hot topic for the day was 'me' sleeping on the first seat and not 'us'.

So I am almost asleep, trying to make an interested face to my teacher although I knew I wasn't quite able at it at that time. The guy behind me was a smart one and he tried to keep me awake so that I don't get punished or something. He kept on asking questions about what the teacher was teaching whenever I would go off completely. But I had a flat response which I knew was loud enough to be heard by the teacher; I still didn't care-- "Sone de na yaar, mujhe kuch nahi aata hai. Mujhe bahut zor se neend aa rahi hai, kisi aur se pooch le" which means "Let me sleep dude, I don't know anything. I am feeling very sleepy, ask someone else". He tried this 3-4 times and my response would mean the same every single time. THere were three girls sitting in the centre rows right next to me, on the right side, across the passage to the end of the class. The one who sat right next to me dropped a sheet of a paper that fell in front of my desk. My conscience wasn't well defined at that moment, so I should say my sub-conscious mind ordered me to stand up and get the paper, and I did. I stood up still half asleep, walked up to the paper while the class was still going on, picked it up and through my barely open eyes saw the content on the page. I realized that it was blank. I walked back to me seat and put the paper on that girl's seat and gave her the sickest grin I have ever given/seen/heard of/though about. I sat down again and the only thing that I remember between that moment and the one where all of us moved out of the class for the Physical Education period is the bell that rang to my relief. The teacher never talked about it. Everyone in the class was talking(at least to me)
about my guts/my stupidity/my laziness... or maybe even my being doped. To say the truth, yes I was doped. I have realized that sleep is my dope and at that time I was doped. Coming to the real dope, that girl did not even pass on basic gestures like a smile or a "hi" for a rest of the week, I like to believe that she didn't do so because she thought that I had doped(the real one)/
fagged/boozed before coming to the school that day. Later on, during the course of time(including the physical education period just after the pyhsics one) she must have realized that I was just sleepy and that was how I behaved under the mentioned condition because she was quite normal in talking to me after a few days. My friends still talk about that occasionally when sleeping in class comes out as a topic. I still can't help smiling whenever that thing comes to my mind. So if it happens anytime in front of you, me behaving in a weird manner that is, don't get scared, I'm just doped in my own sense of the word.

And I would really like to know that people are reading the things on my blog which involve more research than the posts.

My very own personal cancer

2007-08-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

24th August 2007
11:30 a.m.

[Abhishek enters the doctor's room. A friend waits outside. Abhishek moves and asks for a permission to enter at the same time(kuntry yet courteous!)... he sits on the patient's chair]

Dr: Yes, what happened?
(India lost again! haww! doctors need to be taught some manners)

Abhishek[lifting his left foot upto the level of his knees and resting it on his right knee to show a wound]: About a week back, I was playing football in the quadriangle and the ball went into a small pond(sort of) of water and I went there to get it and I got this rash there. Something sharp might have been there. Initially it was just a rash but gradually it deepened into a deep cut and then the skin around it went pink. I didn't think it was necessary earlier but now its quite deep.
(all in one go! phew...)

Dr[pretending to examine the wound]: You've developed an infection(typical hindi movie cancer style... "aapko cancer hai"... just that she didn't start with... "I'm sorry...") I'll give you an ointment. Apply it before you go to sleep in the night. If needed, I'll give you some antibiotics.

Abhishek: There's a smaller wound here just next to this one. Its healed now but the skin is stiff.

Dr[observing the wound]: That happens during healing process. Its a sign of healing.[on close observation](shocking discovery... melodramatic moment... tadang!) The infection has spread to this wound also! (oh no! I am so dead! Babumushaay...) I think I'll prescribe some anti-biotics as well.

(Is it that bad? Am I going to die? How much time do I have left? I don't even have a will! Can I call up my lawyer?)

Abhishek: How long is it going to take before it recovers fully?

Dr: I'll give you a slip for a TT injection and dressing. Go get it done.

(Why is she evading the question?)

Abhishek: How much time is it going to take to recover?(as much as it can... if it can)

Dr: I don't know(SHIT!)... a few days at least.
(Say it... just say that I have very little time left..you're sorry you couldn't save me... Bleh Bleh Bleh...)

Abhishek: When should I come next?

Dr: Come after three days.
(I'm going to survive three days at least)

But now, I'm better. I'm not relieved of it completely. And it looks a lot less worse than it did on that day. All the chemotherapy(read bandages) and medicinal meals(2 capsules a day) have saved my life. Its a miracle!(bah!)
And I'm happy to be slowly getting rid of my very own personal cancer.

Shit Still Happens!

2007-08-23T04:03:00.000-07:00

Well the previous was a list that I found somewhere but it wasn't enough so I thought of adding some of my own
So now shit happens in this manner if you are...

SHAHRUKH KHAN - "Ssssssssshit!"
RAJNIKANTH(AAA) - "Shitt Happensssaaa!"
CENSORED - "S*** hap... wait... S***! I can't say S***! Holy S***!"
HIMESH RESHAMMIYA -
"Shit haaaaaiiippens... Shit haaaaaiiippens... Shit haaaaaaaaaaiiippens...
Saara aalam... Saare mausam...
Saari khushiyaan... saari duniya...
Shit haaaaaiiippens... Shit haaaaaiiippens... Shit haaaaaaaaaaiiippens..."

HINDI - "Mal-tyaag ho jaata hai"
BILL GATES - " Shit... loading... 99%"
IN NEAR FUTURE - "Shit just happened"
IN DISTANT FUTURE - "Shit used to happen"
EATING - "Mmmmfff mmmffmmhffff"
SHITTING - "Its happening!"
SOVIET - "In the Soviet Union, you happen to shit"
PORKY PIG - "Shey..shi..shi..sh..sh..shey..shi..shi..sh..sh..shit happens!"
LEONIDAS - "THIS IS SSSHHYIITTH!!!... AND IT HAPPHENSS!!!"
OPRAH WINFREY - "shit happens... (clap)(clap)(clap)(clap) ..."
GEOFFREY BOYCOTT - "Shyiyt heapphunz"
GEORGE W. BUSH - "Shit happens, but we'll make sure it never happens"
6 YRS OLD - "Daddy, how does shit happen?"
JUST OUT OF YOUR JEE CENTRE - "It just happened, SHIT!"
MITHUN CHAKRABORTHY - "Shit... [11 instantaneously created disco moves]... happens, kya?!"

Thank you for your comments that'll pour in if you find this funny. In case, you didn't, you are dumb!

Tagged!

2007-08-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Long long time ago, in the medieval ages, i was tagged by kaushik and the curse kept on disturbing me every day n night. i had nightmares where i wasn't able to fulfill the duty i was asked to. i just had to do this... remove the tag off me(sorry mom n dad... i wish i cud have been a better son... the tag's just got me)

So here are 8 random facts from the guy whose life almost rox~~~

1. I can't handle it if someone cleans my room up and makes it the management office. I just don't like it! i find it difficult to continue with the cleanliness. also that i find it harder to find things when the room is "organized".

2. I hate Man U just for the fact that they are too popular. on the inside i respect the quality of its gameplay but i just hate the fact that every single person who starts watching football mostly ends up getting into Man U more often than not.

3. The weirdest thing that i remember from my past is the name of a character from some story in my 8th class english book , iona potapov. i dont remember any other thing from that story. u think that's weird? its supposed to be! u think it aint that weird n i'm just being ... weird? its weird alright(i know what i just said was weird)

4. I really wish i had a great voice for singing or cud play drums(guitar craze is too common... i think drums r being ignored these days) but i noe i never wil be tht able nd i njoi myself with whatever i have.... a voice to hoot... and hands to play table(i wish it was tabla here)... srry i noe the last one dint rhyme but it just dint seem possible... suggestions r still welcome!

5. I can't shit while travelling in trains(no more explanations!)

6. The only cooking experiment of mine to ever fail was chocolate macaroni[i noe i shud have served it cold!:( ]

7. I have a very strangely grown pair of toes(the smaller ones) in my left foot because of which i can claim to have any no of toes ranging from 4 to 7 in that foot and manage to prove it.
(i thought of putting a pic here but its looking weirder in the pic than it actually is.. although i dont mind displaying it for anything more than $9.95)

8. I have been putting night outs since class 6 which has helped me mutate in a manner so that i can stay awake or sleep for longer than most ppl can. my best is 3 days for staying awake and 20 hours of continuous sleeping(without any illness)

there you have it 8 random facts about me... i wont tag anyone else... becuase the curse shall not be passed on unless you want a sequel to this post...

Their Literature and Our Environment

2007-08-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

I knew they had a course here for HS(humanities sciences... or something like that) called "Literature and The Environment"
and i knew i had to drop it coz the co-relation didnt strike
me as much it wud hav striked u(did it?)... i ended up wid another course with a long name called "Accounting for Social Sciences"(yes yes... i know what you mean... even i'm trying to figure out the need for this hs). Anyways, this one day a friend of mine is standing outside a classroom in a free slot when he pulls out this monstrous booklet of printouts binded properly. I thought it was something on my dept course. He answered my aww look saying it was for his hs... literature and the blah! blah! blah! It had qoutations from the more intellectual(assumed) people on the planet about the environment. One of them read like this:

"We are each as much a part of the environment as a tree is. The ecosphere is an interconnected web(like the internet)"
-Matt Howes

Now i really dont mind the invention of new words like ecosphere and all coz i'm into it as well but calling it the internet of mother nature was too much... I couldn't resist laughing and he didnt mind... instead he joined(which was but obvious). Then it was one those rare times when the gibberish that came out of my mouth made sense and it was actually funny...
A few analogies between the ecosphere(wow!) and the internet including the one that came spontaneously in front of him at no. 1...

5. Leaves~ Browsers
4. Branches~ LAN cords
3. Roots~ Servers
2. Bark~ Cabinet
1. Pollens~ Bluetooth

I most obviously continued to read to find some more interesting stuff and i did... something i had to agree to....

"We share the earth not only with our fellow human beings, but with all other creatures"
-Dalai Lama

Well sure mr. dalai lama... by the way... does that mean we have to share it with you too?(dont mind... i'm just inquisitive!)

Shit Happens...

2007-07-31T05:08:00.000-07:00

Firstly I'd recommend another shitty post by a friend here...("shit list by ankit... give link... dont post this you moron!" "ok ok, dont talk to me like that!") http://suarsuar.blogspot.com/2007/06/shit-list-gross.html
Shit has its own beliefs; and beliefs have their own shit... but i guess everybody believes 'Shit Happens!'
So shit means this to you if you follow...

TAOISM - "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
HINDUISM - "this shit happened before"
CONFUCIANISM - "confucious say 'shit happens'"
BUDDHISM - "shit will happen to you again"
ZEN - what is the sound of shit happening?"
ISLAM - "if shit happens it is the will of Allah"
SIKHISM - "leave our shit alone"
JEHOVA'S WITNESS - "knock knock, shit happens"
ATHEISM - "i didn't believe this shit"
AGNOSTICISM - "can you prove that shit happens?"
CATHOLICISM - "if shit happens, you deserve it"
PROTESTANTISM - "shit happens, amen to that"
JUDAISM - "why does shit always happen to us?"
ORTHODOX JUDAISM - "so shit happens, already"
TELEVANGELISM - "send money or shit will happen to you"
RASTAFARIANISM - "let's smoke this shit"
HARE KRISHNA - "shit happens rama rama"
NATION OF ISLAM - "don't take no shit"
NEW AGE - "visualize shit happening"
SHINTOISM - "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"
HEDONISM - "i love it when shit happens"
SATANISM - "sneppah tihs"
CAPITALISM - "this is MY shit"
FEMINISM - "men are shit"
EXISTENTIALISM - "what is shit, anyway?"
SCIENTOLOGY - "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
MORMONISM - "excrement happens"(don't say shit)
BAPTISM - we'll wash this shit right of you"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
VOODOO - "shit doesn't just happen - we make it happen"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
DISNEYISM - "bad shit doesn't happen here"
COMMUNISM - "lets share the shit"
MARXISM - "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
CONSPIRACY THEORISM - "THEY shit on us!"
PSYCHO-ANALYSIS - "tell me about your shit"
DARWINISM - "survival of the shittiest"
AMISH - "modern shit is useless"
SUICIDAL - "i've had enough of this shit"
OPTIMISM - "shit won't happen to me"
TREKISM - "to boldly shit where no-one has shit before"
SHAKESPEAREAN - "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
DESCARTES - "I shit therefore I am"
FREUD - "shit is a phallic symbol"
LAWYERS - "for enough money; I can get you out of shit"
ACUPUNCTURIST - "hold still or this will hurt like shit"
DOG - "i just shit therefore i am"
CAT - "dogs are shit"
MOUSE - "oh shit! a cat!"
POLITICALLY CORRECT - "internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"
EINSTEIN - "shit is relative"
FAMILY GATHERING - "relatives are shit"
MATERIALISM - "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
VEGETARIANISM - "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
FATALISM - "oh shit, it's going to happen"
ENVIRONMENTALISM - "shit is biodegradable"
AMERICANISM - "who gives a shit?"
STATISTICIAN - "shit is 84.7% likely to happen"
HIP-HOP - "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
TANTRISM - "fuck this shit"
CYNICISM - "we are all full shit"
SURREALISM - "fish happens"
WICCA - "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"

NOTE: This list was deliberately created to hurt everyone's feelings, no matter what religion or spiritual group they belong to. So if you hated it and want to kill the one who created it, go check the net because the undersigned does not take the responsibility. In the case that your religion or belief has been accidentally left out of the list, you may please report this to the undersigned.

Yours sincerely,
John Travolta

Shit...(&)...Heads

2007-07-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a wonderful blog(the whole blog... the guy is insane... well, so am I!), and I was thinking how that guy wrote such hilarious stuff, and I went to the toilet to take a pee. Now whenever you see the bog, even if you're peeing, its not wrong to think about shit.(its completely gross though) And then I realized that its all about the shit! Shit is the cause of all great ideas, discoveries and inventions. Why not? I get my bestest ideas when shitting, and i'm so proud of it.(that's even more gross) Newton discovered gravity when he was sitting under an apple tree... why, he probably wanst just sitting... he was shitting!(the actual story had a printing error; it missed an 'h' and therefore it came out as "Newton was sitting under...") I took a big shit before my JEE because I was nervous as everyone should have been that day and I cleared it. Shit was the best thing that ever happened to man; and he recognized its importance as soon as he learnt the art. I mean you have one kind of a seat to sit called a chair; but you have two kinds for shitting, the indian and the western.(the commode... designed especially for Shakespeare's play 'Hamlet'; but the idea was later declined because shit was gross back then too) You wont go out and sit in the woods, but I for one wont mind shitting in the forest if need be to a large extent. One can actually shit while standing; but you just cant sit while u stand coz thats a paradox and i cant stand paradoxes.(or maybe i cant sit paradox... or shit paradox... coz paradoxes are gross too... i am insane... please bear with me) So the importance given to shit by man and God alike,(I am an atheist but I like talking about God... that is gross too!) it proves that shitting is more important than sitting; and because the sole aim of human existense is discovering, inventing, thinking, writing humorous blogs, bombing iraq, and playing games on the LAN(besides shitting ofcourse!) and because the preceding three are the ones that led us to the rest, we give them more credit than they deserve just for the heck of it; but these were the ones that were led to by shitting! If you still dont believe me, you can test a man's conscience, thinking ability and answering capacity in two different conditions, one where the man is healthy and the other when he is constipated.(loose motions are not considered here because they dont give you time enough to carry out the test) Alcohol is the cause of all evil. Shit is the cause of its end... now that's some shit!

And now a few comments about the 'shit' that matters in an uncyclopediaic manner(refer to arbit pages on uncyclopedia.org)

"Shit is the cause of all the shit that's around y'll,man!"
~ A black nigga from downtown on shit.

"If there aint no shit, there aint no shit!"
~ Another black nigga from downtown on shit.

"If only I could shit more often, I could as well rule the world."
~ Oscar Wilde on shit.

"Piece o'shit!"
~ Shit on Oscar Wilde.

"Shit is brown.
Shit is green.
Shit is like my grandma,
Who's very mean"
~ 10 year old William on shit.(that's some shit, Willie!)

"...You know how shit that sounds..."
~ Excerpt from the not-so-famous Jay Sean v/s Jay Sean rap... on shit.

"... you'll wallow in his shit..."
~ Excerpt from 'Verse Chorus Verse' by Nirvana... on shit.

"I love shit!"
~ The janitor on shit.

"In the Soviet Union, shit loves you!"
~ A Soviet guy on shit.

As gross as it was, it was fun writing about something that doesnt mean a shit to most but you'll someday realize how shitty you were when you thought this way. Anyways, why should I give a shit to what you think.

Heppie Buddae Heemaes

2007-07-23T11:18:00.001-07:00

The name of this post is as weird as his story. But, this is celebrating the most irritating and the most recurring music director who has found more about every kind of music than anyone else... including the 'Gayatri Mantra'! I've seen his movie; and quite frankly the only thing i cud do was to mock it. Completely on a high with his fan-following, the 'indian rockstar'(in ur dreams buddy!) HR has risen to another level of playing a lead in a movie and playing his own self in it. But, i enjoy whatever he does, in a different way though. U can love him, u can hate him; but u just cant ignore him. He's everywhere with people following his music, worshiping him. Its strange hw ppl like Amitabh Bachchan & Rajnikanth(ishthaaiila!!!) worked for yrs to get whr a man wearing a cap got by being lazy enuf to not shave his beard... the man is still the in thing among indian youth and bless those souls who wont live without his music. Here's wishing a birth anniversary to the weirdest phenomenon in Indian music history... cheers!

Unlimited!

2007-07-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

If you know how it feels to have a small, almost irrelevant dream fulfilled... u r the justification of this post. Today itself, in the evening, i set sail for shopping with captain mom and navigatior dad... or lets say we went shopping. We searched out many a stores for some clothing for me... well we ended up being late being of shopping for someone else(a gift) and spend too much time and ran out of time. Tired and helpless(the shops snow being closed), i gave up and told my parents we cud do it later... altho thr's very less time left now for my departure. And as any of the other late shopping days, we decided to eat out. We went into a south indian chain restaurant nearby. The menu arrived and flipping through i found the one word that was my dream 'Unlimited'!

The urge cropped up again... to say it in 3 simple english words... I WANTED IT! But then, i dropped the idea coz unlimited eats arent when u go out with others... even if its ur parents... its not the time. U'd rather do it when u r alone... nd i never eat out alone. My mother called it out loud and accidently saw the expression on my faceand knew it then n there... she knows i am an eataholic. And, that was all i needed her to know. The guy came in to take the order... and i said the magical word 'Unlimited'. Well, the waiter got a big 'thali' with loads of stuff. I always wanted to make a guy who lets me take the unlimited stuff feel miserable about the decision. I started to never stop or atleast eat till i dont puke. I kept on eating for long enough for my parents to finish eating, wash their hand and start waiting for me to finish. I was happy... every bite helped me add a chunk to the pile that would help me fulfil one dream that wasnt worth being a dream. Its what u make fun of doing. I actually did it. I ate like a monster, walked out of the place with the biggest belly i have ever possessed. Satisfaction comes full on no matter what you have achieved, i say this coz i know this. If you've ever felt the same way, as i've already said, u r the justification for this post.

Surroorified

2007-07-16T16:02:00.001-07:00

I know you're tired of it but i just had to kick it off wid the indian rockstar(or so he calls himself). HR, his preffered name, although the german polizei managed to pronounce his name.

From the beginning... 30th june... outside a stranded movie theatre which is about to witness a golden page in its history... me and a friend r standing there and just gasping at the long queue of ppl who were there for the movie(AAP KA SURROOR if u still havent got it!)... this was a place which the rickshaw-walas had once abolished... and today it was flooding wid ppl wearing caps(a few were sane too) and wid the himesh kinda beard.. frankly i was one of them... we were there to have fun... as in make a joke out of the movie like we always do(nd believe me we're gud at this stuff!)... now the history part: suddenly something happened... ppl left the queue... the show was house full... HR's movie had got this theatre probably its first house full(i know even Krrish couldnt do it)... first show for the day it was nd in the scorching heat we were left in company of our disappointment... anyways we went somewhere else... but the urge to go to that movie was growing now...

the whole week i pained that friend of mine to go... saturday was decided upon as i cud see it in his eyes... he too wanted himesh ever so dearly... another friend joined in for our freak show... or so we thought it wud be... we got the tickets and we had just sat down when it started... 15 mins into the movie and we were horrified... there we were... ppl who wanted to see a movie just to make a mockery out of it... nd then there was the movie... which made a mockery out of us...
another 5 mins had passed... the three musketeers were searching for a hint from the other two to leave... the three of us were ready... it was just a case of who wud make the first move... then the word was out... shall we leave... it was a difficult decision but we stuck to making our money's worth out of this... even if it was for the bitter... the movie softened a bit towards us... then it wa hillarious... the serious part i mean... the action and the dialogue delivery... however wherever the movie tried to get funny, we had to bear with it as per the contract... the movie ended with nothing different than the routine hero's win over injustice and his marriage(i guess) to a girl who in real life is still 17! The best part of the movie being where HR sits on the floor with his guitar in his hand singing the one thing he shouldnt have... Om bhur bhuvah swah!

I wish he gets bestowed upon with some sanity... oh btw if u were a true himesh fan... learn to say the word 'mohterma' with zeal as himesh does... 'assalam walekum' was like himesh's picking on urdu...scores as per last review himesh~1::: urdu~0... also the fact that his tight t'shirt's(or whatever that piece of cloth deserves to be called) neck line actually went below his belly button... which was later on pulled up to cover it due to censorship reasons... other than that mallika sherawat was at her irritating best...
i give it 3 stars in negative...

to anyone who wants to know how it actually was... my verdict...
You have to see it, to believe it!

Introduction

2007-07-16T15:52:00.000-07:00

Well, if you're still confused why i have started with a new blog, i must clear that the serious side of Abhishek Vyas was the face of the other blog... this is more of the fun blog, a lighter version of me. also a more gramatically incorrect version!

a gud friend,who is a regular visitor to my blog, saw a post one day and messaged me that i was always looking at the negative side of life... so i thought why not start bringing out the more 'positive' side of me... the side more preferred by ppl who know me... i didnt want to mix up the two things so here is LIFE ALMOST ROX!

hope to see checking u this one out too...

adios,
you know who